FINDING CHANGE SERIES
Copyright © Angel Martinez/Author Prisca Martin,
ALL RIGHTS RESERVED
Published by: Author Prisca Martin
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After years of marriage to an abusive husband,
Emmalyn finds herself wanting more to life and wanting out of the
tragedy, she calls her marriage. She also finds herself wanting
someone completely forbidden to her. She never thought he would want
her too. Too bad, he does not understand the reasons she cannot leave
This book is for my friends, family and readers
who have stood behind me and encouraged me to continue writing. It is
also for the authors who honored me with being a part of this
anthology. Letting my work be in the same book as all of yours’ is
I also want to dedicate this
book to every female who has found herself in the same place Emmalyn
finds herself. Domestic Violence, raging jealousy and cheating is not
okay. Never allow yourself to be abused or so lost you do not know
whom you are anymore. Everyone is worth something, even if the person
who should value you the most does not. When that happens, it is time
to find someone who will value you like the prize you truly are.
Another day comes and goes and I still cannot find
my happiness. I have searched my soul deeply and it has been lost. I
have tried my hardest to seek some sort of solace in this hell I call
a marriage. The only solace I have is motherhood. I love my babies
with all my heart. EVEN if their father does not love them nor me.
Tonight, he hit me in the
face, kicked me in my ribs and gave me a hard kick to my lower back.
The reason he gave why was beyond ridiculous. He claimed I over
cooked the steaks for dinner and he refused to eat. I cooked them the
same way I have cooked them every single time before. I could smell
the alcohol on him from the moment he stepped into the house. I
expected it once he showed up two hours late from job searching.
The moment the kids were put to sleep, the arguing
and fighting began. I tried to ignore him but he was not having it. I
left the living room to hide in the laundry room. I tried to hang and
fold all the laundry in the dryer, but he decided he was not done
fighting with me.
Now I get to tell everyone the bruises on the side
of my face are from falling down the bedroom stairs. Like they have
not already heard that excuse before. I am certain they would ask if
he was the one who pushed me. I know I am not fooling anyone but it
is what it is.
I know it is my fault for staying but I have
nowhere else to go. If I leave, I end up on the streets with three
children. He has already threatened to take the children away from
me. I will never ever do anything that would even consider my
children stay left with the monster I married. I am so afraid of
leaving and him receiving visitation. I fear if I were no longer
here, that he would need someone else to take his anger out on.
I cannot have my babies
placed in harm’s way. I have no idea what to do anymore. I just
want my babies to be safe, even if it means I have to go through him
beating me. I tell myself, better me than these three innocent babes.
Oh, how I pray for a miracle.
As Emmalyn fell asleep that
night, she wondered what the hell had happened to her happy life she
once had, once upon a time. She used to go to sleep cradling her
husband in her arms. Now she cradled a heating pad in one arm and an
ice pack in the other. The beatings had been occurring more often
since he lost his job. He spent the time he should be using to look
for a job, frequenting all of the small-town bars.
She prayed before her eyes began to close in pain.
She was beginning to lose faith in the one she had always thought she
could depend. She asked aloud, “How could you create life, to only
allow it to suffer in this way?” She had asked this question many
times before. She hoped an answer would come and bring her out of the
hell she called her life.
Present Day, 2015
Emmalyn had been a wild teenager who grew up way
too fast in a small town. She tested the limits to everything in
life and had one hell of a fun time doing so. She was no shy
wallflower, and hell she admitted she was not stingy when it came to
her past lovers. Looking at the thirty-six year old woman now, you
would never know the crazy girl she used to be.
All the crazy moments she
had were put to an end when she met the man whom she thought would be
the man of her dreams. Those supposed dreams lasted a little over two
years into their relationship. This was only six months into their
marriage. If someone had told Emmalyn during that period, that she
would live to regret meeting Dave, she would not have believed them.
Some of his cousins and his ex-girlfriend had warned her before their
marriage about him. She refused to listen to their warnings.
Her husband had begun ignoring her and acted as
though she did not exist. When he did give her attention, it was
negative. He treated her like shit and would accuse her of cheating.
The accusations were often and she knew he did it out of his own
guilty conscious. She never left the house unless she was paying
bills or getting groceries. She spent all of her time as a mother to
her daughters, age eight and seven and her son age four.
The beatings had begun within the first year of
their marriage and now fourteen years later they were a frequent
occurrence for her. She had found herself making up excuses for her
cuts and bruises, while finding ways to hide the lighter bruises. She
kept herself secluded from the few family members and friends she
had. She did so to avoid their questioning of the bruises.
In the fourteen years they were married, she had
not spoken to another man, nonetheless been with one. She had found
the phone numbers and text messages in his phone bill and eventually
learned he was the guilty one. She had begun putting money in the
savings account he had no idea even existed. She would wait to leave
him until she was able to be on her own two feet without having to
struggle with where to sleep or what to eat.
It would not be a surprise to anyone if he and she
separated. At least not to anyone who were close to the two of them.
She was certain her husband’s cousins and friends knew they were
They witnessed the way he berated her in front of
everyone and some had stepped in to stop him from hitting her during
family events where lots of drinking were done.
She stopped drinking ten years ago because of the
fighting. She tended to find herself brave and standing up to him
when she drank. She honestly told herself if she was drunk and he
tried or succeeded in hitting her, she would most likely lose her
shit and murder him. As tempting as it sounded, she could not leave
her babies orphaned with one dead parent and one imprisoned parent.
She herself had lost her parents a year into her marriage and it was
She was advised on numerous events to give him a
good one with the broom, a bat or better yet, a frying pan to the
head. It was easy for others to laugh and joke at her expense. It was
not easy for her to be the one in her position. If she thought,
fucking up Dave with a frying pan would stop his beatings she would
have done it a long time ago. She would have done it more than one
time and every time he hit her.
She once threw a cast iron
pan filled with cooking meat and burning hot oil at her ex-boyfriend
when he tried hitting her. She swore after that instance; no man
would ever even attempt to put his hands on her again. Now here she
was trying to make logic of whether giving her husband a taste of his
own medicine would work. Logic and experience told her he would not
learn his lesson, but only abuse her worse.
Emmalyn used to be beautiful and even a bit
conceited when she was younger. She barely stood at five foot two and
during her youth years, she had never weighed more than one hundred
and fifteen pounds. She held a beautiful light beige complexion,
which set off her big brown eyes and long, wavy dark brown hair.
After giving birth to her two daughters and her
son, she never went back to the petite girl she used to be. She was
lucky most times when she weighed in the one hundred and thirty-five
range. She hated the mommy tummy she had, but she loved her nursing
breasts staying nice and plump after nursing her babies was over. She
could not complain either about the booty she gained with the other
This past year, she stopped caring what her
husband thought and she started making sure she was happy with
herself. She changed her ways in the way she dressed and how she did
her makeup. She paid good money to have her hair done the way she had
always wanted it. She had made sure she was happy with her appearance
and it made her happy on the inside too. She did still have
insecurities but she was making a whole lot of progress.
Carlos was one of Dave’s younger cousins who
spent a lot of time with him at the house. He was around quite often
on outings. Emmalyn had started to notice him around his twentieth
birthday and although he was ten years younger than she was, she
found him drop dead gorgeous. He had been the exact image of her
‘type’ when she had been younger.
He was tall, dark and handsome, just like the
overused cliché. He had to be about six foot tall and could not
weigh more than one hundred and eighty pounds, even with his muscular
body. He had all the features that had made her fall for Dave, his
gray eyes and his plump curved lips. He did not have the crooked nose
like Dave, but a broad one and his mustache and goatee made him
Yes, it was wrong because of the age difference
and the fact he was her husband’s cousin but she could not help how
attracted she was to him. She thought he was sexy as all sin and
wished she were younger and unmarried. She might have had a chance
with him when she was young and beautiful, but no one wanted someone
like her. Her insecurities had made her push those thoughts to the
Six year later, those thoughts were back and she
could not help to see how gorgeous he now was. He was a man now, not
a boy and the man he had grown up to be was so damn hot! He had so
much going for him. Maybe, that is what triggered the girl crush she
had on him. She could not deny how sexy he was now that he was a man.
Everything about him screamed, fuck me and fuck me good. If only she
could, but she told herself there was no way possible.
He had spent years at their house and he had seen
her at her worst in looks, including pajamas, no makeup and hair in a
bun. He had also seen her in all stages of looks, from those pajama
days, to dolled up and ready to go out. She was certain he had
never looked at her in any way other than the stupid girl who
married his cousin.
Why would he look to her as
anything other than the stupid girl married to his screwed up cousin?
She was not like any of the young girls he messed with. She could not
compete with any of those girls. She was old and anyone knowing her
story could call her stupid.
She was married and he was her husband’s cousin.
They did everything together and the only reason she saw him as much
as she did was that he was always with her husband. Dave was never
jealous of Carlos and that tripped her the hell out, since he was
jealous of everyone. Hell, he was even jealous of the fed ex man and
he was the one who compulsively bought things off the internet.
There were times Carlos would make a remark about
her not going with them on outings. When he would remark on her lack
of participation, she would roll her eyes and say, “Him, invite me?
Yeah right, that will be the day!” That was explanation enough. She
never said more on the subject. He knew what she meant and always
left the conversation alone.
The attraction between the two started out slowly,
where she did not recognize it. They would share a smile, or a
passing thought would make them laugh. He would come to get something
from her husband and he always stood right behind her. She always
felt embarrassed at how big her booty must look with him right behind
She would never comment on the fact that he was
always standing behind her and in perfect view of her huge ass. She
felt self-conscious about it. Most days she told herself she was
stupid and there was no way he thought anything about her. How could
he find her attractive? She had three children and most times was
lucky to look presentable.
Dave would go as far as passing out drunk while
she and Carlos finished watching the football or basketball games
together. They would roll their eyes at him passed out on the couch,
snoring and with his belly hanging out. She would shake her head at
Carlos and Carlos would mouth to her, “The love of your life.” He
would laugh and she would shake her head and make a gagging noise
that would cause more laughter on his part.
She started to notice Dave was not as abusive as
he normally was when Carlos was around. The abuse lightened up after
the “Halloween Party” incident. A small gathering on Halloween
night turned into a domestic violence incident when Dave wanted to
fight her and everyone else at the gathering. The moment Dave raised
his hand to strike Emmalyn, Carlos grabbed Dave’s arm and stopped
Carlos’ approach was subtle but it stayed
ingrained in Dave’s mind. Dave claimed he drank too much to
remember but Emmalyn was certain he remembered. Why was Emmalyn
certain? Normal times where he would be beating her to the ground had
become a no hitting zone. Those times though were only when Carlos
During that incident, Carlos grabbed his arm and
with his other hand thrusted a cold corona into his hand. He told
Dave, “Bro, you need a cold one in that hand. Let’s get to
drinking.” When Dave gave him a dirty look and was about to
respond, Carlos responded in a voice seething with anger. “You will
not hit Em in front of me. I will hit you back for her and you are
not going to like it.” Dave took the beer and walked off the other
way from Carlos.
She found herself attracted to Carlos all over
again and a piece of her heart broke at where her life had turned.
She always wondered how her life had changed so quickly. She had
longed for the days of her past when she only had to look at a man
with a slow and seductive smile that had him wrapped around her
finger instantly. She could never imagine he would actually look at
her in that way.
The day came when her children were in school, she
was all dolled up and ready to go run errands. Her hair was pinned
half up and half down, her makeup was perfect and she was dressed in
tight black pants, her boots with a two-inch heel and a spaghetti
strap top that flowed freely over her stomach and fell to right above
She loved the way she looked and knew she was
wasting away, looking this good on going for groceries. No one ever
paid attention to her. Either they did and she ignored them or they
saw the unhappiness that showed on her face and decided not to go
near her. It was not because she was unattractive or even average,
she was beautiful but that unhappiness that showed had scared them
It was not like when she first met her husband.
She was thin, had long and beautiful hair and not her short hair that
barely met her shoulders. She had gained thirty pounds in the past
fourteen years, although it gave her an ass and rounder breasts, but
it also gave her a stomach that she had a hard time getting rid of.
She had changed and there were less times than fingers on her hand
where she had anyone of the opposite sex approach her.
As she finished her makeup, she heard someone let
out a whistle and she looked from her room’s doorway to her front
door and there Carlos was standing with his gorgeous smile. He had a
set of keys in his hands and she recognized them to be the garage
keys. She smiled back and went to turn off the radio and he had
approached the entertainment center at the same time. He handed her
the keys and stopped her hand with his other one. “That is a bad
ass song. Let it finish.”
She laughed and they both smiled at one another.
Her heart pounded a bit faster and she told herself to stop acting
like a young girl with a crush. She was way past that behavior. Still
his smile had triggered excitement in her body. This time was
different for some odd reason and she could not explain it. She just
felt it in her body, as it tingled with excitement.
The Jason Aldean song continued playing and she
looked down at the keys in her hands. She felt his fingers touch the
outline of her jaw and tilt her head up to look at his eyes. She gave
a nervous laugh, as she always did when she felt so nervous she could
not speak. “Why are you acting so shy?” He asked her in such a
soft but smooth tone, it gave her the chills.
“I don’t know, I just…” She answered the
best she could, but the look in his eyes caused her to trail off and
not finish her answer. There was something different in the way he
looked at her. It made her very much aware of him. He looked to her
with the same lust she had felt for him.
She had no idea what to say or do. He put one hand
on her neck, lightly brushing it and his other hand guided hers,
helping her to set the keys on the shelf. She had no idea what she
should do. She froze in panic and he saw it in her eyes. She saw the
flash in his eyes when she froze.
Sure, she knew her husband was a douche and knew
he was cheating on her, but she was still married. She had not been
with anyone but her husband in over fourteen years. She had not even
been with her husband in over six months, ever since she found out
about Liz. Liz was the other woman he was cheating with now.
Carlos was ten years younger
than she was, barely in his late-twenties. He was young and gorgeous;
his smile could melt many ladies’ hearts and his voice was soft but
smooth. There were days where he would start singing and just the
rasp of his voice caused her to be turned on. He was single and
unattached, which meant he could have any girl he wanted. He could
not possibly want her, a housewife in her thirties and one whose body
showed she was a mother of three.
He let go of her hand and moved his hand from her
neck. He looked remorseful and his words made her melt even more.
“I’m sorry Em, I shouldn’t have overstepped. I just have wanted
to kiss you for so long and today I saw you at the bus stop getting
the kids on the bus, you looked so beautiful. I am so sorry for
She could not grasp the fact that he thought she
did not want him or that he thought she would feel violated by his
touch. She was the one who wanted him and wanted his touch. She could
not imagine him actually wanting her. “You are not violating me. I
just… well, I… I cannot imagine why you would want to even be
this close to me.” There she said it and let out every insecurity
she had in just those few words.
“You are beautiful!” He whispered in her ear,
as he leaned in closer to her. She felt a shiver down her spine from
his words. His hand went to the small of her back and his other hand
went back to her neck. He used his hands to guide her body in close
to his body.
Their bodies were flushed together and she could
feel every muscle and curve of his body. A soft moan exhaled from her
breath and she felt her body lean into his. He ran his hands down her
back and cupped her hips, which ensured her to feel his hardness
through his jeans. He whispered in her ear with a raspy voice. “Do
you feel what you do to me?”
Before she could say a word, his lips were on
hers. His lips were so full and soft. They felt like they were always
supposed to be on hers. His kiss was soft and slow, as though he was
taking his time to explore her mouth. She could not remember the last
time she had been kissed this soft, so long and so patient. A kiss
made her insides melt and her temperature burn.
He softly moved his lips over her bottom lip and
opened his to suck on hers’ lightly. This one single action caused
her to moan softly. He caught her moan and again sucked on her bottom
lip, but this time with more force. The sighs from her, allowed him
the opening he wanted. He allowed his teeth to graze the inside of
her lower lip, before he entered his tongue to meet hers.
He took turns matching her tongue stroke for
stroke and allowing his teeth to graze her lips in a slow and
seductive pull. She was going crazy with tingle sensations and lust.
It blew her mind how a simple kiss could cause so many sensations
within her. Feeling his hardness against her had not helped in
keeping her excitement under control.
The moment his hand moved to her neck and slightly
tilted it to the side, then he ran his mouth up and down along it,
was the moment her excitement grew to make her moist in her most
intimate place. He was driving her erotically insane with the way one
hand played with her hair; the other had ran its fingertips up and
down the other side of her neck. He placed a mixture of kisses, sucks
and light bites on it.
Everything within her wanted this, wanted him and
she was not going to think about anything. She would just feel and at
the moment, she felt so damn fabulous. She did have to think of one
thing before she turned off all of her thoughts. She sighed and told
him that thought. “The door, lock it.”
He stopped his kisses and gave her a smug smile
and she wondered why he smiled the way he did. She remembered her
thoughts on not thinking. She would not allow herself to wonder or
think. Instead, she watched as he went to her front door, locked her
screen door and then he shut the hard door and locked it, as well.
Emmalyn stared at him with eyes that were heavily
lidded and as he made his way back to her, she tilted her head
towards her bedroom door and began walking to it. Those thoughts that
she kept trying to push away, were telling her doubts. “What if he
does not want you in this way?” She hoped she was not going to make
a fool out of herself. He could have only wanted a simple kiss.
She stopped her steps and was about to give into
her thoughts and turn around when he came up behind her. He put one
hand on her waist and the other hand reached for hers. She took his
hand with no difficulties and allowed him to take her to the king
size bed, that had not seen any action for quite some time. She
blocked the thought and memory of her screwed up marriage and the
lack of relations.
The one thing that did come to her mind in this
whole situation was how she had not felt this damn excited with lust
for almost thirteen years. It had been since the first year of her
relationship and even then, it was not this good. The throbbing
between her legs ached with need. It ached for him; she needed him
inside of her. She needed him now!
There they were standing in front of the bed with
its quilt of pink squares with breast cancer ribbons on them. She
froze in her spot and had no idea how she could face the man that had
been the subject of her fantasies. Every self-conscious thought she
had, hit her like ice-cold water in her face.
He turned her around to face him. She was no
longer with her back to him but face to face, while being wrapped in
his arms. She could not speak and again he apologized, “I am sorry.
I assumed this is what you wanted.” He then began to let her go.
Her damn thoughts, shit! She needed to block them out, as a normal
chick would do when faced with a man this drop dead gorgeous.
She put her hands to stay his arms and again her
insecurities poured out. “Are you sure this is what you want? Look
at me, I am not anything special nor am I like any of the girls you
bring around. I am old, have a stomach like I am five months pregnant
and I lost my looks years ago.”
He squeezed her tightly in
his embrace and she actually felt so secure in his hold. “I hate
the self-doubt you have. You do not see how beautiful you are and it
makes me sad to see how little you think of yourself.” His words
were so soft and in a tone as to comfort her.
“It is not that I think little of myself, it is
being real and knowing one’s true self.” She said adamantly.
“You are wrong on so many levels,
especially when you say you lost your looks and you aren’t anything
special. You are special; you just don’t realize that because you
have not been treated special like you should be.”
He leaned in and gave a simple but sweet kiss to
her forehead and then he continued his reassurance. “You are right
about one thing; you are not like any of the girls I have dated. You
are more special than any girl I have dated. I have compared every
one of them to you and not one has ever come close to you.”
“Oh yes, I am not even close to them, with their
prettiness and youth.” She spoke her thoughts aloud.
“Can you trust me?” He asked
“Trust you?” She repeated in question.
“Yes, trust me. Trust me, when I tell you I am
not here because I want a piece of ass. I am not here to use you. I
am here because I want you and I want you for you.” He spoke so
softly in her ear as he held her tight and kissed her neck.
“That’s hard to believe.” She responded so
“If you didn’t have me so damn hard, I would
consider pulling you down onto this bed and holding you for hours,
while I reassure you how much I want you and how much I feel for
She attempted to focus on his words and make sense
of what he told her, but his reference to his hardness, the feel of
it against her and their bodies looming over the bed told her mind to
shut the hell up. Her only response to his words was a nervous
He tightened his hold around
her waists and while taking her lip into his teeth, giving it a
playful tug, he moved her body to the edge of the bed. She sat
herself on the bed and he stood between her spread legs. She found
her arms reaching out to pull him down to her and he complied with
her pulling. She found herself on her back, with him laying over her
completely. “Oh, how I love the way you feel on top of me.” She
sighed in pleasure.
Her legs were spread and in between them was one
sexy man. He moaned softly in her ear, “I love how you feel under
me.” The moment he leaned his body down onto her, she felt her
whole body flush with heat. He took both of her hands in one of his
and raised them over her head. She felt a spark of excitement between
her legs and all the way up her body at the feel of his hold on her
wrists and the strength he had in his hold.
He ran his other hand down the side of her body,
ran it back up and cupped her left breast. He told her with great
appreciation how he felt. “I love how beautiful your breasts are.”
He began kissing her collarbone and trailed his kissed down to her
breasts. That one hand left her breast and pulled the straps of her
top down her shoulder, then did the same to her bra strap. He freed
her full, round breasts that had their nipples hardening the moment
they were freed.
He never wavered while holding her wrists and she
reveled in giving him full control. She reveled in allowing him to do
anything he wanted to her and with her. “I love how you hold me.”
Her words sounded as though she was breathless. He took full control
over her and he had her moaning in bliss just from his touch and
kisses to her breasts. One nipple was rolled in his fingers, while
the other nipple was hard and brought between his teeth.
She felt the grazing of his teeth and it made her
gasp at the spark it sent to in between her legs. She could not help
the words from escaping from her. “Mmhh Carlos, oh damn that feels
so good.” As it came out of her mouth, he spread his hand out
against her breast and softly rubbed her. He massaged it and let his
tongue and teeth caress her other nipple more forcible. This action
was driving her to a passionate craze.
She ran one hand up and down the muscle of his
arm, while the other hand was positioned on the back of his neck as
her fingernails ran up and down the back of his head. It was a soft
motion but she could hear the sighs that escaped him, soft and low
when her nails ran along his head. She loved hearing that soft sigh.
It excited her as much as the way he pleasured her through her
Her insides where burning with lust and she wanted
more of the excitement that buzzed between her legs. She arched her
hips up and into the hardness against her lower extremities. He
immediately responded to her actions, ran his hand from her breasts
down to her booty, and cupped it, which brought her lower area
flushed into hers. He asked her in a soft whisper, “Do you like the
way that feels?” His other hand moved from her wrists to her waist,
while his mouth made its way to her other breast, the nipple and down
her stomach to her waist.
She answered low and soft, matching his whisper.
“It feels so good.” She tried hard not to get self-conscious but
it had been a very long time since someone had seen her stomach
without a shirt covering it. He did not even move or react, unlike
how she thought he would show disgust over the stomach she had
gained. Instead, he brought his hand from her ass and used them both
to slide down her pants.
His teeth had found the string of her panties and
pulled them down her hips and to her thighs. When they reached her
thighs, his mouth went back up her inner thigh, giving soft kisses
and sucks that made her moan. He moved away for a second and she
automatically missed him. He went to her boots and removed them and
then his hands went to undressing her lower half.
Her hands went back to inside each one of
her thighs. They followed the trail his mouth made. She moaned when
he kissed and sucked on her inner thighs. It made her lower
extremities lower and caused sensations of excitement within her.
“Mmhh that feeling, oh it feels so damn good.”
He did not respond but lightly grazed his teeth on
her thigh. The moment his mouth reached her lower area, she shied up
and had no idea what to do. She could not remember the last time she
had been in that position. Her legs closed in response and he used
his hands to separate them. He sounded rasp and breathless when he
looked up and spoke to her. “Don’t try to hide from me. I want to
see, feel and taste all of you. I want to take my time with you.”
She knew he was being sincere, but the last two
years of her marriage had made her so insecure with herself. She
tried to forget how she felt normally about herself. Instead, she
tried to think about how he made her feel at that very moment. This
man had seen her at her worst and still he was right there wanting
her. He not only wanted her but he wanted to take his time with her.
She relaxed her body and felt his mouth on the
hood of her clit. He started there and softly sucked and as she
arched herself in response to her pleasure, he ran his fingers up her
folds. He spread her wetness up and down and in between her folds.
His mouth moved to where his fingers were and he licked her in the
His tongue made its way to where she opened up and
he gave her a hard lick from her opening to the hood of her clit. He
did this several times and each time he made his way to her hood, he
gave it a sucking motion. She was moaning in pleasure and all of her
insecurities were replaced with pure pleasure. She could not remember
the last time her body found such joy as this. She moaned out of pure
lust, “Carlos, please don’t stop. Mmhh, please don’t stop.”
His response was in his actions, as he sucked more
forcibly on her and let his fingers find her opening. He never
stopped his sweet torture with his mouth, but added to it with one
finger inside of her. He explored her inside, running his finger
along her spot, which made her moan turn into a scream of his name,
“Carlos!” The scream deepened when he took her in between his
teeth, grazing her and sucking on her deeply.
She laid deep within the bed with her hands
grasping the blankets within her hold. Her body had spasms and jerks
from her orgasm. She felt as though she was being shocked with tiny
jolts of pleasure throughout her entire body, repeatedly. Her eyes
shut and little specs of color passed through her eyelids. Her orgasm
was so intense, blissful and unlike any feelings, she had ever felt
“Mmhh, Carlos…” She panted but did not
finish her words but instead, she let out a low breath. Upon her
doing so, he stopped his ministrations on her lower area and kissed a
trail up her belly button, back up in between her breasts and up her
neck to her ear. She loved the feel of him on her body, especially
immediately after her orgasm.
Once Carlos positioned himself over Emmalyn and
had his mouth by her ear, he clipped it with his teeth. He spoke in
that voice he usually sung with, that drove her crazy with desire. “I
love the way you taste. I love the way you moan and scream my name. I
love everything about you.”
She could not respond and the reason had to do
with the word love. She hated that word and a part of her always
would after finding the text message from her husband to his new
tramp, confessing his love to her. She did not want to think of the
word love, even if it sent chills down her spine hearing his words.
He did not allow her to respond and he cleared her
head of her thoughts the moment he moved to lift his shirt off his
body and over his head. “Fuck, do you look good!” She sighed,
while sending him into that gorgeous smile she always found melting
her insides. That smile accompanied by a look in his eyes told her he
was pleased with himself.
She was pleased with him too. She could not
imagine feeling any better than she did with the first orgasm. She
had not had an orgasm for years. Her husband thought as long as she
was wet, she was satisfied. She tried explaining the difference but
to be honest he was not interested in pleasing her. He was more
interested in his own release.
She would be satisfied for the next ten years with
the release she just had. She now focused on his release. She would
be happy knowing she returned the favor. She reached for him and
began to undo his belt and unbutton his pants. He watched her with
eyes filled with lust as he guided her hands to help push his pants
and boxers down.
She was faced with his dick and damn was it large.
She had never thought about how big he would be, but had she, she was
not sure if she would think he was as huge as he was. She wanted to
return the favor he had done her, but as she moved in to take his
dick in her mouth he stopped her. He guided her to lay back on the
bed. He spoke low but adamant. “I want this to be about you.”
She laid back as he had guided her and he came up
upon her from in between her legs. As he came up, his hands roamed
her body from her ankles all the way up her arms to raise them above
her head. Once again, he had her wrists over her head and taken into
one hand. She loved the way he had control over her in one hold.
His other hand spread her legs further, and then
he guided the head of his dick to her opening. Her opening was still
moist and welcoming to him. His hand remained cupping the inside of
her thigh, as he entered her opening. She immediately squeezed around
him in pleasure as he attempted to fill her completely. She could
feel herself stretching to fit him.
Since he was so large, she felt every single
movement made inside of her. The feeling and the thought of his dick
sliding in and out of her had her moaning and tightening around him,
each time he went back up into her. He was taking his time with her
and went slowly through every movement within her. It felt to her as
though he wanted her to feel each and every stroke.
His hand tightened around her wrists and it made
her so much more excited. She looked up into his eyes and she saw he
was watching her. He was looking to her face to see the passion and
pleasure he was causing her to feel. He lowered his mouth and took
her bottom lip in between his teeth and the moment she wrapped her
legs around him, he moved more rapidly within her.
Every stroke caused a moan to escape from her
mouth and every moan caused a harder stroke within her. She had not
thought he could excite her again, but he did. He made those sparks
of excitement shoot through her body again. She began to meet his
body for every single stroke he made.
Her movements caused him to let out moans of his
own pleasure. Knowing he was finding his own pleasure brought her a
euphoric feeling to her body. She tingled with sensation everywhere
his hand touched her body. She bit lightly on his lips, taking a turn
on each of them. The more she bit his lip and moved her body to his,
the more forcibly he thrusted within her.
She could tell by the way he was breathing and
moaning that she had him ready for his own release. Instead of taking
his release, he focused on pleasing her and her body. As he began
moving faster, he released her wrists, broke their kiss and moved his
hand to cup her chin. He kept her face to his and looked her directly
in her eyes. The beautiful eyes that haunted her fantasies were now
ingraining memories of their passion in her mind.
His other hand went down in between their bodies
and began rubbing the same spot he had been sucking on earlier.
Having his circular motion mixed with his deep thrusting strokes and
the intense look in his eyes, was her undoing. She could not hold it
any further and began shaking with an orgasm that had her ready to
weep from the intensity.
She had thought her orgasm was intense the first
time, but now she was not only having one orgasm but multiple
orgasms. Stroke by stroke, every inch of her body was on fire and she
was screaming. “Oh yes, yes, yes Carlos, yes fuck me, yes!”
He watched her, eyes to eyes and the look of
pleasure in his eyes made her body thrill even further with exciting
jolts. The moment she sighed after her last orgasm, he released her
chin and grabbed both of her thighs in each hand, pulling her closer
to him. Her legs wrapped even further around him and he went into a
frenzy as he thrusted dep inside of her.
He pushed in her as deep as he could and made each
deep thrust hard and fast. She felt a pressure within her and could
not do anything about it because he had taken control over her body
and he would not stop thrusting until his release. Her moan was an
instant reaction to the pressure of him pounding her repeatedly. “Oh
Carlos, oh damn, mmhh fuck!”
Her words were continuous
and he was moaning just as much as she was. “Yes, my darling. Take
me love! Take all of me!” Every time he told her to take him, he
thrusted hard within her. When his release approached, he moaned for
her. “Take it my Emmalyn!”
She responded to his release with her own orgasm.
This one smaller than the first two, but still just as wonderful.
When she felt him release she spoke so softly to him. “Awe yes my
love that is it. Let your cum find me.”
He did just that and then he laid to the side of
her. He brought her body into his with his arms wrapped around her.
The intensity of her orgasm had shocked her from her head down to her
toes. Her entire body shook with pleasure and he had been the one
that had done that to her. The feel of his arms holding her was not
just comfort but erotic.
Carlos and Emmalyn laid there quietly and she felt
exhausted with a mix of euphoria. It was a few minutes before they
spoke and she was saddened that moment of comfort was now finished.
“Emmalyn…” He spoke her name in his raspy whisper.
“Yes?” She responded.
“Are you okay?” He asked, looking to her with
intensity in her eyes.
“Okay? Yes, I am okay. Why wouldn’t I be
okay?” She asked.
“I made you cheat on Dave.” He answered. “I’m
sorry I made you do something you will regret.”
“Regret? I will never regret this. Never. We are
all adults and you did not make me do anything I didn’t want to
do.” She answered sincerely.
“What about Dave?” He asked.
“What about him?” She asked with a hint of
annoyance in her voice. He was ruining the moment by speaking about
“I know you and you have too big of a heart. You
will end up allowing the guilt to eat at you.” He said serious and
matter of fact.
“I cannot allow something to eat at me if I
don’t have it. I would have to give a shit about Dave to feel
guilty about this. I stopped giving a shit a long time ago.” She
admitted this to him for the first time. She had never admitted her
feelings towards her husband to anyone.
“You do a great job pretending because you seem
to give a fuck enough to wait on him hand and foot all the time.”
A flash of hurt flashed through her eyes, which he
caught but she masked it immediately. “It is easier to get through
the day doing what I need to do, versus fighting all day, every day.”
He squeezed her tightly against him as she placed
her head against his shoulder. His arms were a warm embrace wrapped
around her so securely. “I have watched the way you and he are and
how he treats you. You are put through hell and still you stay. Why?”
He asked the last part so sincere and careful.
“Why?” She repeated with her tone so weak and
“He has treated you like shit for years and you
don’t deserve it.” He added.
“What is it that I deserve?” She asked,
honestly wanting to hear his answer.
“You deserve to smile, and smile sincerely. Not
that fake smile you give when your eyes hold nothing but pain.” He
answered while holding her hands within his and squeezing them
“I have three children, no family to help me and
if I leave, I will have nowhere to go. I refuse to put my children
through that.” She answered with the reason that had filled her
mind every time she thought about leaving. She could feel her body
tense up over the thought of all the stress and hardships she would
face if she left her husband.
“You are smarter than the way you are acting.
You could easily make it on your own. You just don’t want to.” He
spoke while releasing her from his arms. She could tell by the
movement, he was not happy with her.
“You have no idea how hard it is. You are not
the one with three children and nowhere to go. You have never been on
your own or struggled. You live with your parents still. Every
paycheck you get does not disappear the day before you get it.”
“Really? Is that how you look at me? Like some
child who lives with his parents, who cannot possibly understand what
it is like to have adult problems.” He was pissed as all hell now.
The gentle manner he had with her, had turned into anger as he moved
away from her and grabbed his clothes.
“That’s not what I meant. I am just so tired
of everyone making me feel like an idiot. I cannot count how many
times I have been told, I should just leave. I am a mother and my
children come first.” She defended herself as she reached for her
clothes. She began dressing herself with her back turned to him.
“You are not going to harm your children by
leaving. They see your pain, although you do not want to admit it,
they know you are not happy. Have you ever thought about how they
feel when they see you upset? How about when you are bruised up.”
He sounded more determined for her to understand where he was coming
from than he sounded angry.
“I don’t allow my babies to see how he affects
me. I keep that to myself, so they do not feel anything when it comes
to my unhappiness.” She tried to assure him as she stayed with her
back turned to him. She pulled her panties and pants up her legs.
“What happens when they are left alone with him during visitation?”
“You may think they do not see it, but they do.
I know they do because I see it every time I walk through your front
door. I see how he treats you and I see how emotionally drained it
has left you. He does not love you but yet, you stay!” He raised
his voice and she could hear it thick with emotion. “I seriously
doubt he would harm his children. The moment he does, everyone will
cause hell and make sure they never go through that kind of hell
“Oh, like the way they do
with me too? Tell my something, why the hell do you care so much?”
She practically shouted at him. She was near tears and fully dressed.
She stood in front of the dresser mirror and closed her eyes at the
emotions that flooded her insides.
He stood behind her and when she felt him against
her back, she sighed with the pain her marriage brought her. She
opened her eyes to his words. “I care because all of these years
that have passed, have had me falling in love with you. After today,
a part of me cannot deny that I have fallen completely in love with
you. I want you to be happy, even if it means you and I never become
a couple or be together again.”
She watched him in the mirror as he spoke those
words that touched her heart sincerely. She had the bond of
friendship with him over the last several years. She would mock his
confession, had he been anyone else. She did not mock it and she did
not question it. He spent so much time at her house and during
outings that they knew one another closely.
“I cannot put myself first, or before my babies.
They have to come first, even if that means staying in this hell I
call marriage.” She admitted to him, even if it breaks her heart.
“Please, put the kids first then. Give them the
mother they deserve. One that is happy with her life. You give your
children everything and I see that. I see you are mommy and you are
daddy. You do everything for them that it will be no different if you
leave.” He tried to convince her but she only knew the struggles
she would face upon leaving.
“My babies have a roof over their heads, food in
their mouths, clothes on their backs, toys in their bedrooms and a
mom at home who can protect them. That is what they need and I will
not take that from them so I can be free to date or sleep with
whoever I want.” She spat out with the reality of the situation
thickened in her voice.
“Is that how you look at it?” He moved from
behind her and stood next to her. She looked at the both of them as
they stood side by side. Her hair looked softly tousled and her lips
swollen from all of their kisses. They looked beautiful standing
there together but she knew it could never be.
“How do you expect things to be? You are his
cousin and one of his closest friends. Your mother and father would
never accept us being together. It does not matter if we started a
secret relationship now, or waited for a year from now. I will always
be the girl who left her husband and jumped in bed with his cousin.”
She tried to convince him that it would never work.
“He is the one who cheats on you, leaves you at
home while he is out everywhere, ignores you when you are both home,
expects you to raise the kids by yourself, expects you to wait hand
and foot on him and when he does put you attention, he treats you
like shit or is in a jealous rage.” He continued looking at her
through the mirror and she kept her eyes on his, through the mirror.
“Shall we add the beatings? You do not think I know or others know,
but we all know.”
“I do not need a reminder of my life, since I do
happen to live it each and every day.” She said in a clipped tone.
She continued her words, not allowing him to speak. “It does not
matter how things are between him and I. I will always get the blame
if I leave him. People only see what they want and he has managed to
make everyone see him as this perfect husband.”
“I do not see him that way. I see him for the
son of a bitch he is.” He responded and as she moved to walk away
from him. He reached out, took her hand and faced her to him. “I am
not asking you to leave him for me. I am asking you to leave him for
“I can’t and I really hope you can understand
why.” She sighed out of sadness as her eyes filled with tears.
He could have reassured her or comforted her, but
instead he could not do it. He hated that she would not leave Dave.
“You can do it, but you do not want to. There is a difference.”
She moved out of his hold and walked out of her
room. She grabbed the keys and placed them on the hook by her car
keys. She was in so much pain internally but she would not let him
see her pain, not any further. She struggled every single day in
staying within her marriage. She thought he would understand her.
Instead, he was acting as though she actually wanted to stay in this
hell of a life.