Excerpt for The Beginning: Emmalyn's Journey by , available in its entirety at Smashwords

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BOOK 0.5





Copyright © Angel Martinez/Author Prisca Martin, 2015


Published by: Author Prisca Martin

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After years of marriage to an abusive husband, Emmalyn finds herself wanting more to life and wanting out of the tragedy, she calls her marriage. She also finds herself wanting someone completely forbidden to her. She never thought he would want her too. Too bad, he does not understand the reasons she cannot leave her husband.



This book is for my friends, family and readers who have stood behind me and encouraged me to continue writing. It is also for the authors who honored me with being a part of this anthology. Letting my work be in the same book as all of yours’ is an honor.

I also want to dedicate this book to every female who has found herself in the same place Emmalyn finds herself. Domestic Violence, raging jealousy and cheating is not okay. Never allow yourself to be abused or so lost you do not know whom you are anymore. Everyone is worth something, even if the person who should value you the most does not. When that happens, it is time to find someone who will value you like the prize you truly are.


February 2015

Journal Entry

Dear Journal,

Another day comes and goes and I still cannot find my happiness. I have searched my soul deeply and it has been lost. I have tried my hardest to seek some sort of solace in this hell I call a marriage. The only solace I have is motherhood. I love my babies with all my heart. EVEN if their father does not love them nor me.

Tonight, he hit me in the face, kicked me in my ribs and gave me a hard kick to my lower back. The reason he gave why was beyond ridiculous. He claimed I over cooked the steaks for dinner and he refused to eat. I cooked them the same way I have cooked them every single time before. I could smell the alcohol on him from the moment he stepped into the house. I expected it once he showed up two hours late from job searching.

The moment the kids were put to sleep, the arguing and fighting began. I tried to ignore him but he was not having it. I left the living room to hide in the laundry room. I tried to hang and fold all the laundry in the dryer, but he decided he was not done fighting with me.

Now I get to tell everyone the bruises on the side of my face are from falling down the bedroom stairs. Like they have not already heard that excuse before. I am certain they would ask if he was the one who pushed me. I know I am not fooling anyone but it is what it is.

I know it is my fault for staying but I have nowhere else to go. If I leave, I end up on the streets with three children. He has already threatened to take the children away from me. I will never ever do anything that would even consider my children stay left with the monster I married. I am so afraid of leaving and him receiving visitation. I fear if I were no longer here, that he would need someone else to take his anger out on.

I cannot have my babies placed in harm’s way. I have no idea what to do anymore. I just want my babies to be safe, even if it means I have to go through him beating me. I tell myself, better me than these three innocent babes. Oh, how I pray for a miracle.

- Emmalyn

As Emmalyn fell asleep that night, she wondered what the hell had happened to her happy life she once had, once upon a time. She used to go to sleep cradling her husband in her arms. Now she cradled a heating pad in one arm and an ice pack in the other. The beatings had been occurring more often since he lost his job. He spent the time he should be using to look for a job, frequenting all of the small-town bars.

She prayed before her eyes began to close in pain. She was beginning to lose faith in the one she had always thought she could depend. She asked aloud, “How could you create life, to only allow it to suffer in this way?” She had asked this question many times before. She hoped an answer would come and bring her out of the hell she called her life.




Present Day, 2015


Emmalyn had been a wild teenager who grew up way too fast in a small town. She tested the limits to everything in life and had one hell of a fun time doing so. She was no shy wallflower, and hell she admitted she was not stingy when it came to her past lovers. Looking at the thirty-six year old woman now, you would never know the crazy girl she used to be.

All the crazy moments she had were put to an end when she met the man whom she thought would be the man of her dreams. Those supposed dreams lasted a little over two years into their relationship. This was only six months into their marriage. If someone had told Emmalyn during that period, that she would live to regret meeting Dave, she would not have believed them. Some of his cousins and his ex-girlfriend had warned her before their marriage about him. She refused to listen to their warnings.

Her husband had begun ignoring her and acted as though she did not exist. When he did give her attention, it was negative. He treated her like shit and would accuse her of cheating. The accusations were often and she knew he did it out of his own guilty conscious. She never left the house unless she was paying bills or getting groceries. She spent all of her time as a mother to her daughters, age eight and seven and her son age four.

The beatings had begun within the first year of their marriage and now fourteen years later they were a frequent occurrence for her. She had found herself making up excuses for her cuts and bruises, while finding ways to hide the lighter bruises. She kept herself secluded from the few family members and friends she had. She did so to avoid their questioning of the bruises.

In the fourteen years they were married, she had not spoken to another man, nonetheless been with one. She had found the phone numbers and text messages in his phone bill and eventually learned he was the guilty one. She had begun putting money in the savings account he had no idea even existed. She would wait to leave him until she was able to be on her own two feet without having to struggle with where to sleep or what to eat.

It would not be a surprise to anyone if he and she separated. At least not to anyone who were close to the two of them. She was certain her husband’s cousins and friends knew they were having trouble.

They witnessed the way he berated her in front of everyone and some had stepped in to stop him from hitting her during family events where lots of drinking were done.

She stopped drinking ten years ago because of the fighting. She tended to find herself brave and standing up to him when she drank. She honestly told herself if she was drunk and he tried or succeeded in hitting her, she would most likely lose her shit and murder him. As tempting as it sounded, she could not leave her babies orphaned with one dead parent and one imprisoned parent. She herself had lost her parents a year into her marriage and it was painful.

She was advised on numerous events to give him a good one with the broom, a bat or better yet, a frying pan to the head. It was easy for others to laugh and joke at her expense. It was not easy for her to be the one in her position. If she thought, fucking up Dave with a frying pan would stop his beatings she would have done it a long time ago. She would have done it more than one time and every time he hit her.

She once threw a cast iron pan filled with cooking meat and burning hot oil at her ex-boyfriend when he tried hitting her. She swore after that instance; no man would ever even attempt to put his hands on her again. Now here she was trying to make logic of whether giving her husband a taste of his own medicine would work. Logic and experience told her he would not learn his lesson, but only abuse her worse.

Emmalyn used to be beautiful and even a bit conceited when she was younger. She barely stood at five foot two and during her youth years, she had never weighed more than one hundred and fifteen pounds. She held a beautiful light beige complexion, which set off her big brown eyes and long, wavy dark brown hair.

After giving birth to her two daughters and her son, she never went back to the petite girl she used to be. She was lucky most times when she weighed in the one hundred and thirty-five range. She hated the mommy tummy she had, but she loved her nursing breasts staying nice and plump after nursing her babies was over. She could not complain either about the booty she gained with the other weight.

This past year, she stopped caring what her husband thought and she started making sure she was happy with herself. She changed her ways in the way she dressed and how she did her makeup. She paid good money to have her hair done the way she had always wanted it. She had made sure she was happy with her appearance and it made her happy on the inside too. She did still have insecurities but she was making a whole lot of progress.




Carlos was one of Dave’s younger cousins who spent a lot of time with him at the house. He was around quite often on outings. Emmalyn had started to notice him around his twentieth birthday and although he was ten years younger than she was, she found him drop dead gorgeous. He had been the exact image of her ‘type’ when she had been younger.

He was tall, dark and handsome, just like the overused cliché. He had to be about six foot tall and could not weigh more than one hundred and eighty pounds, even with his muscular body. He had all the features that had made her fall for Dave, his gray eyes and his plump curved lips. He did not have the crooked nose like Dave, but a broad one and his mustache and goatee made him gorgeous.

Yes, it was wrong because of the age difference and the fact he was her husband’s cousin but she could not help how attracted she was to him. She thought he was sexy as all sin and wished she were younger and unmarried. She might have had a chance with him when she was young and beautiful, but no one wanted someone like her. Her insecurities had made her push those thoughts to the side.

Six year later, those thoughts were back and she could not help to see how gorgeous he now was. He was a man now, not a boy and the man he had grown up to be was so damn hot! He had so much going for him. Maybe, that is what triggered the girl crush she had on him. She could not deny how sexy he was now that he was a man. Everything about him screamed, fuck me and fuck me good. If only she could, but she told herself there was no way possible.

He had spent years at their house and he had seen her at her worst in looks, including pajamas, no makeup and hair in a bun. He had also seen her in all stages of looks, from those pajama days, to dolled up and ready to go out. She was certain he had never looked at her in any way other than the stupid girl who married his cousin.

Why would he look to her as anything other than the stupid girl married to his screwed up cousin? She was not like any of the young girls he messed with. She could not compete with any of those girls. She was old and anyone knowing her story could call her stupid.

She was married and he was her husband’s cousin. They did everything together and the only reason she saw him as much as she did was that he was always with her husband. Dave was never jealous of Carlos and that tripped her the hell out, since he was jealous of everyone. Hell, he was even jealous of the fed ex man and he was the one who compulsively bought things off the internet.

There were times Carlos would make a remark about her not going with them on outings. When he would remark on her lack of participation, she would roll her eyes and say, “Him, invite me? Yeah right, that will be the day!” That was explanation enough. She never said more on the subject. He knew what she meant and always left the conversation alone.

The attraction between the two started out slowly, where she did not recognize it. They would share a smile, or a passing thought would make them laugh. He would come to get something from her husband and he always stood right behind her. She always felt embarrassed at how big her booty must look with him right behind her.

She would never comment on the fact that he was always standing behind her and in perfect view of her huge ass. She felt self-conscious about it. Most days she told herself she was stupid and there was no way he thought anything about her. How could he find her attractive? She had three children and most times was lucky to look presentable.

Dave would go as far as passing out drunk while she and Carlos finished watching the football or basketball games together. They would roll their eyes at him passed out on the couch, snoring and with his belly hanging out. She would shake her head at Carlos and Carlos would mouth to her, “The love of your life.” He would laugh and she would shake her head and make a gagging noise that would cause more laughter on his part.

She started to notice Dave was not as abusive as he normally was when Carlos was around. The abuse lightened up after the “Halloween Party” incident. A small gathering on Halloween night turned into a domestic violence incident when Dave wanted to fight her and everyone else at the gathering. The moment Dave raised his hand to strike Emmalyn, Carlos grabbed Dave’s arm and stopped him.

Carlos’ approach was subtle but it stayed ingrained in Dave’s mind. Dave claimed he drank too much to remember but Emmalyn was certain he remembered. Why was Emmalyn certain? Normal times where he would be beating her to the ground had become a no hitting zone. Those times though were only when Carlos was present.

During that incident, Carlos grabbed his arm and with his other hand thrusted a cold corona into his hand. He told Dave, “Bro, you need a cold one in that hand. Let’s get to drinking.” When Dave gave him a dirty look and was about to respond, Carlos responded in a voice seething with anger. “You will not hit Em in front of me. I will hit you back for her and you are not going to like it.” Dave took the beer and walked off the other way from Carlos.

She found herself attracted to Carlos all over again and a piece of her heart broke at where her life had turned. She always wondered how her life had changed so quickly. She had longed for the days of her past when she only had to look at a man with a slow and seductive smile that had him wrapped around her finger instantly. She could never imagine he would actually look at her in that way.




The day came when her children were in school, she was all dolled up and ready to go run errands. Her hair was pinned half up and half down, her makeup was perfect and she was dressed in tight black pants, her boots with a two-inch heel and a spaghetti strap top that flowed freely over her stomach and fell to right above her booty.

She loved the way she looked and knew she was wasting away, looking this good on going for groceries. No one ever paid attention to her. Either they did and she ignored them or they saw the unhappiness that showed on her face and decided not to go near her. It was not because she was unattractive or even average, she was beautiful but that unhappiness that showed had scared them away.

It was not like when she first met her husband. She was thin, had long and beautiful hair and not her short hair that barely met her shoulders. She had gained thirty pounds in the past fourteen years, although it gave her an ass and rounder breasts, but it also gave her a stomach that she had a hard time getting rid of. She had changed and there were less times than fingers on her hand where she had anyone of the opposite sex approach her.

As she finished her makeup, she heard someone let out a whistle and she looked from her room’s doorway to her front door and there Carlos was standing with his gorgeous smile. He had a set of keys in his hands and she recognized them to be the garage keys. She smiled back and went to turn off the radio and he had approached the entertainment center at the same time. He handed her the keys and stopped her hand with his other one. “That is a bad ass song. Let it finish.”

She laughed and they both smiled at one another. Her heart pounded a bit faster and she told herself to stop acting like a young girl with a crush. She was way past that behavior. Still his smile had triggered excitement in her body. This time was different for some odd reason and she could not explain it. She just felt it in her body, as it tingled with excitement.

The Jason Aldean song continued playing and she looked down at the keys in her hands. She felt his fingers touch the outline of her jaw and tilt her head up to look at his eyes. She gave a nervous laugh, as she always did when she felt so nervous she could not speak. “Why are you acting so shy?” He asked her in such a soft but smooth tone, it gave her the chills.

“I don’t know, I just…” She answered the best she could, but the look in his eyes caused her to trail off and not finish her answer. There was something different in the way he looked at her. It made her very much aware of him. He looked to her with the same lust she had felt for him.

She had no idea what to say or do. He put one hand on her neck, lightly brushing it and his other hand guided hers, helping her to set the keys on the shelf. She had no idea what she should do. She froze in panic and he saw it in her eyes. She saw the flash in his eyes when she froze.

Sure, she knew her husband was a douche and knew he was cheating on her, but she was still married. She had not been with anyone but her husband in over fourteen years. She had not even been with her husband in over six months, ever since she found out about Liz. Liz was the other woman he was cheating with now.

Carlos was ten years younger than she was, barely in his late-twenties. He was young and gorgeous; his smile could melt many ladies’ hearts and his voice was soft but smooth. There were days where he would start singing and just the rasp of his voice caused her to be turned on. He was single and unattached, which meant he could have any girl he wanted. He could not possibly want her, a housewife in her thirties and one whose body showed she was a mother of three.

He let go of her hand and moved his hand from her neck. He looked remorseful and his words made her melt even more. “I’m sorry Em, I shouldn’t have overstepped. I just have wanted to kiss you for so long and today I saw you at the bus stop getting the kids on the bus, you looked so beautiful. I am so sorry for violating you.”

She could not grasp the fact that he thought she did not want him or that he thought she would feel violated by his touch. She was the one who wanted him and wanted his touch. She could not imagine him actually wanting her. “You are not violating me. I just… well, I… I cannot imagine why you would want to even be this close to me.” There she said it and let out every insecurity she had in just those few words.

“You are beautiful!” He whispered in her ear, as he leaned in closer to her. She felt a shiver down her spine from his words. His hand went to the small of her back and his other hand went back to her neck. He used his hands to guide her body in close to his body.

Their bodies were flushed together and she could feel every muscle and curve of his body. A soft moan exhaled from her breath and she felt her body lean into his. He ran his hands down her back and cupped her hips, which ensured her to feel his hardness through his jeans. He whispered in her ear with a raspy voice. “Do you feel what you do to me?”

Before she could say a word, his lips were on hers. His lips were so full and soft. They felt like they were always supposed to be on hers. His kiss was soft and slow, as though he was taking his time to explore her mouth. She could not remember the last time she had been kissed this soft, so long and so patient. A kiss made her insides melt and her temperature burn.

He softly moved his lips over her bottom lip and opened his to suck on hers’ lightly. This one single action caused her to moan softly. He caught her moan and again sucked on her bottom lip, but this time with more force. The sighs from her, allowed him the opening he wanted. He allowed his teeth to graze the inside of her lower lip, before he entered his tongue to meet hers.

He took turns matching her tongue stroke for stroke and allowing his teeth to graze her lips in a slow and seductive pull. She was going crazy with tingle sensations and lust. It blew her mind how a simple kiss could cause so many sensations within her. Feeling his hardness against her had not helped in keeping her excitement under control.

The moment his hand moved to her neck and slightly tilted it to the side, then he ran his mouth up and down along it, was the moment her excitement grew to make her moist in her most intimate place. He was driving her erotically insane with the way one hand played with her hair; the other had ran its fingertips up and down the other side of her neck. He placed a mixture of kisses, sucks and light bites on it.

Everything within her wanted this, wanted him and she was not going to think about anything. She would just feel and at the moment, she felt so damn fabulous. She did have to think of one thing before she turned off all of her thoughts. She sighed and told him that thought. “The door, lock it.”

He stopped his kisses and gave her a smug smile and she wondered why he smiled the way he did. She remembered her thoughts on not thinking. She would not allow herself to wonder or think. Instead, she watched as he went to her front door, locked her screen door and then he shut the hard door and locked it, as well.



Emmalyn stared at him with eyes that were heavily lidded and as he made his way back to her, she tilted her head towards her bedroom door and began walking to it. Those thoughts that she kept trying to push away, were telling her doubts. “What if he does not want you in this way?” She hoped she was not going to make a fool out of herself. He could have only wanted a simple kiss.

She stopped her steps and was about to give into her thoughts and turn around when he came up behind her. He put one hand on her waist and the other hand reached for hers. She took his hand with no difficulties and allowed him to take her to the king size bed, that had not seen any action for quite some time. She blocked the thought and memory of her screwed up marriage and the lack of relations.

The one thing that did come to her mind in this whole situation was how she had not felt this damn excited with lust for almost thirteen years. It had been since the first year of her relationship and even then, it was not this good. The throbbing between her legs ached with need. It ached for him; she needed him inside of her. She needed him now!

There they were standing in front of the bed with its quilt of pink squares with breast cancer ribbons on them. She froze in her spot and had no idea how she could face the man that had been the subject of her fantasies. Every self-conscious thought she had, hit her like ice-cold water in her face.

He turned her around to face him. She was no longer with her back to him but face to face, while being wrapped in his arms. She could not speak and again he apologized, “I am sorry. I assumed this is what you wanted.” He then began to let her go. Her damn thoughts, shit! She needed to block them out, as a normal chick would do when faced with a man this drop dead gorgeous.

She put her hands to stay his arms and again her insecurities poured out. “Are you sure this is what you want? Look at me, I am not anything special nor am I like any of the girls you bring around. I am old, have a stomach like I am five months pregnant and I lost my looks years ago.”

He squeezed her tightly in his embrace and she actually felt so secure in his hold. “I hate the self-doubt you have. You do not see how beautiful you are and it makes me sad to see how little you think of yourself.” His words were so soft and in a tone as to comfort her.

“It is not that I think little of myself, it is being real and knowing one’s true self.” She said adamantly.

 “You are wrong on so many levels, especially when you say you lost your looks and you aren’t anything special. You are special; you just don’t realize that because you have not been treated special like you should be.”

He leaned in and gave a simple but sweet kiss to her forehead and then he continued his reassurance. “You are right about one thing; you are not like any of the girls I have dated. You are more special than any girl I have dated. I have compared every one of them to you and not one has ever come close to you.”

“Oh yes, I am not even close to them, with their prettiness and youth.” She spoke her thoughts aloud.

“Can you trust me?” He asked

“Trust you?” She repeated in question.

“Yes, trust me. Trust me, when I tell you I am not here because I want a piece of ass. I am not here to use you. I am here because I want you and I want you for you.” He spoke so softly in her ear as he held her tight and kissed her neck.

“That’s hard to believe.” She responded so softly.

“If you didn’t have me so damn hard, I would consider pulling you down onto this bed and holding you for hours, while I reassure you how much I want you and how much I feel for you.”

She attempted to focus on his words and make sense of what he told her, but his reference to his hardness, the feel of it against her and their bodies looming over the bed told her mind to shut the hell up. Her only response to his words was a nervous giggle.

He tightened his hold around her waists and while taking her lip into his teeth, giving it a playful tug, he moved her body to the edge of the bed. She sat herself on the bed and he stood between her spread legs. She found her arms reaching out to pull him down to her and he complied with her pulling. She found herself on her back, with him laying over her completely. “Oh, how I love the way you feel on top of me.” She sighed in pleasure.

Her legs were spread and in between them was one sexy man. He moaned softly in her ear, “I love how you feel under me.” The moment he leaned his body down onto her, she felt her whole body flush with heat. He took both of her hands in one of his and raised them over her head. She felt a spark of excitement between her legs and all the way up her body at the feel of his hold on her wrists and the strength he had in his hold.

He ran his other hand down the side of her body, ran it back up and cupped her left breast. He told her with great appreciation how he felt. “I love how beautiful your breasts are.” He began kissing her collarbone and trailed his kissed down to her breasts. That one hand left her breast and pulled the straps of her top down her shoulder, then did the same to her bra strap. He freed her full, round breasts that had their nipples hardening the moment they were freed.

He never wavered while holding her wrists and she reveled in giving him full control. She reveled in allowing him to do anything he wanted to her and with her. “I love how you hold me.” Her words sounded as though she was breathless. He took full control over her and he had her moaning in bliss just from his touch and kisses to her breasts. One nipple was rolled in his fingers, while the other nipple was hard and brought between his teeth.

She felt the grazing of his teeth and it made her gasp at the spark it sent to in between her legs. She could not help the words from escaping from her. “Mmhh Carlos, oh damn that feels so good.” As it came out of her mouth, he spread his hand out against her breast and softly rubbed her. He massaged it and let his tongue and teeth caress her other nipple more forcible. This action was driving her to a passionate craze.

She ran one hand up and down the muscle of his arm, while the other hand was positioned on the back of his neck as her fingernails ran up and down the back of his head. It was a soft motion but she could hear the sighs that escaped him, soft and low when her nails ran along his head. She loved hearing that soft sigh. It excited her as much as the way he pleasured her through her breasts.

Her insides where burning with lust and she wanted more of the excitement that buzzed between her legs. She arched her hips up and into the hardness against her lower extremities. He immediately responded to her actions, ran his hand from her breasts down to her booty, and cupped it, which brought her lower area flushed into hers. He asked her in a soft whisper, “Do you like the way that feels?” His other hand moved from her wrists to her waist, while his mouth made its way to her other breast, the nipple and down her stomach to her waist.

She answered low and soft, matching his whisper. “It feels so good.” She tried hard not to get self-conscious but it had been a very long time since someone had seen her stomach without a shirt covering it. He did not even move or react, unlike how she thought he would show disgust over the stomach she had gained. Instead, he brought his hand from her ass and used them both to slide down her pants.

His teeth had found the string of her panties and pulled them down her hips and to her thighs. When they reached her thighs, his mouth went back up her inner thigh, giving soft kisses and sucks that made her moan. He moved away for a second and she automatically missed him. He went to her boots and removed them and then his hands went to undressing her lower half.

 Her hands went back to inside each one of her thighs. They followed the trail his mouth made. She moaned when he kissed and sucked on her inner thighs. It made her lower extremities lower and caused sensations of excitement within her. “Mmhh that feeling, oh it feels so damn good.”

He did not respond but lightly grazed his teeth on her thigh. The moment his mouth reached her lower area, she shied up and had no idea what to do. She could not remember the last time she had been in that position. Her legs closed in response and he used his hands to separate them. He sounded rasp and breathless when he looked up and spoke to her. “Don’t try to hide from me. I want to see, feel and taste all of you. I want to take my time with you.”

She knew he was being sincere, but the last two years of her marriage had made her so insecure with herself. She tried to forget how she felt normally about herself. Instead, she tried to think about how he made her feel at that very moment. This man had seen her at her worst and still he was right there wanting her. He not only wanted her but he wanted to take his time with her.

She relaxed her body and felt his mouth on the hood of her clit. He started there and softly sucked and as she arched herself in response to her pleasure, he ran his fingers up her folds. He spread her wetness up and down and in between her folds. His mouth moved to where his fingers were and he licked her in the same motion.

His tongue made its way to where she opened up and he gave her a hard lick from her opening to the hood of her clit. He did this several times and each time he made his way to her hood, he gave it a sucking motion. She was moaning in pleasure and all of her insecurities were replaced with pure pleasure. She could not remember the last time her body found such joy as this. She moaned out of pure lust, “Carlos, please don’t stop. Mmhh, please don’t stop.”

His response was in his actions, as he sucked more forcibly on her and let his fingers find her opening. He never stopped his sweet torture with his mouth, but added to it with one finger inside of her. He explored her inside, running his finger along her spot, which made her moan turn into a scream of his name, “Carlos!” The scream deepened when he took her in between his teeth, grazing her and sucking on her deeply.

She laid deep within the bed with her hands grasping the blankets within her hold. Her body had spasms and jerks from her orgasm. She felt as though she was being shocked with tiny jolts of pleasure throughout her entire body, repeatedly. Her eyes shut and little specs of color passed through her eyelids. Her orgasm was so intense, blissful and unlike any feelings, she had ever felt before.

“Mmhh, Carlos…” She panted but did not finish her words but instead, she let out a low breath. Upon her doing so, he stopped his ministrations on her lower area and kissed a trail up her belly button, back up in between her breasts and up her neck to her ear. She loved the feel of him on her body, especially immediately after her orgasm.




Once Carlos positioned himself over Emmalyn and had his mouth by her ear, he clipped it with his teeth. He spoke in that voice he usually sung with, that drove her crazy with desire. “I love the way you taste. I love the way you moan and scream my name. I love everything about you.”

She could not respond and the reason had to do with the word love. She hated that word and a part of her always would after finding the text message from her husband to his new tramp, confessing his love to her. She did not want to think of the word love, even if it sent chills down her spine hearing his words.

He did not allow her to respond and he cleared her head of her thoughts the moment he moved to lift his shirt off his body and over his head. “Fuck, do you look good!” She sighed, while sending him into that gorgeous smile she always found melting her insides. That smile accompanied by a look in his eyes told her he was pleased with himself.

She was pleased with him too. She could not imagine feeling any better than she did with the first orgasm. She had not had an orgasm for years. Her husband thought as long as she was wet, she was satisfied. She tried explaining the difference but to be honest he was not interested in pleasing her. He was more interested in his own release.

She would be satisfied for the next ten years with the release she just had. She now focused on his release. She would be happy knowing she returned the favor. She reached for him and began to undo his belt and unbutton his pants. He watched her with eyes filled with lust as he guided her hands to help push his pants and boxers down.

She was faced with his dick and damn was it large. She had never thought about how big he would be, but had she, she was not sure if she would think he was as huge as he was. She wanted to return the favor he had done her, but as she moved in to take his dick in her mouth he stopped her. He guided her to lay back on the bed. He spoke low but adamant. “I want this to be about you.”

She laid back as he had guided her and he came up upon her from in between her legs. As he came up, his hands roamed her body from her ankles all the way up her arms to raise them above her head. Once again, he had her wrists over her head and taken into one hand. She loved the way he had control over her in one hold.

His other hand spread her legs further, and then he guided the head of his dick to her opening. Her opening was still moist and welcoming to him. His hand remained cupping the inside of her thigh, as he entered her opening. She immediately squeezed around him in pleasure as he attempted to fill her completely. She could feel herself stretching to fit him.

Since he was so large, she felt every single movement made inside of her. The feeling and the thought of his dick sliding in and out of her had her moaning and tightening around him, each time he went back up into her. He was taking his time with her and went slowly through every movement within her. It felt to her as though he wanted her to feel each and every stroke.

His hand tightened around her wrists and it made her so much more excited. She looked up into his eyes and she saw he was watching her. He was looking to her face to see the passion and pleasure he was causing her to feel. He lowered his mouth and took her bottom lip in between his teeth and the moment she wrapped her legs around him, he moved more rapidly within her.

Every stroke caused a moan to escape from her mouth and every moan caused a harder stroke within her. She had not thought he could excite her again, but he did. He made those sparks of excitement shoot through her body again. She began to meet his body for every single stroke he made.

Her movements caused him to let out moans of his own pleasure. Knowing he was finding his own pleasure brought her a euphoric feeling to her body. She tingled with sensation everywhere his hand touched her body. She bit lightly on his lips, taking a turn on each of them. The more she bit his lip and moved her body to his, the more forcibly he thrusted within her.

She could tell by the way he was breathing and moaning that she had him ready for his own release. Instead of taking his release, he focused on pleasing her and her body. As he began moving faster, he released her wrists, broke their kiss and moved his hand to cup her chin. He kept her face to his and looked her directly in her eyes. The beautiful eyes that haunted her fantasies were now ingraining memories of their passion in her mind.

His other hand went down in between their bodies and began rubbing the same spot he had been sucking on earlier. Having his circular motion mixed with his deep thrusting strokes and the intense look in his eyes, was her undoing. She could not hold it any further and began shaking with an orgasm that had her ready to weep from the intensity.

She had thought her orgasm was intense the first time, but now she was not only having one orgasm but multiple orgasms. Stroke by stroke, every inch of her body was on fire and she was screaming. “Oh yes, yes, yes Carlos, yes fuck me, yes!”

He watched her, eyes to eyes and the look of pleasure in his eyes made her body thrill even further with exciting jolts. The moment she sighed after her last orgasm, he released her chin and grabbed both of her thighs in each hand, pulling her closer to him. Her legs wrapped even further around him and he went into a frenzy as he thrusted dep inside of her.

He pushed in her as deep as he could and made each deep thrust hard and fast. She felt a pressure within her and could not do anything about it because he had taken control over her body and he would not stop thrusting until his release. Her moan was an instant reaction to the pressure of him pounding her repeatedly. “Oh Carlos, oh damn, mmhh fuck!”

Her words were continuous and he was moaning just as much as she was. “Yes, my darling. Take me love! Take all of me!” Every time he told her to take him, he thrusted hard within her. When his release approached, he moaned for her. “Take it my Emmalyn!”

She responded to his release with her own orgasm. This one smaller than the first two, but still just as wonderful. When she felt him release she spoke so softly to him. “Awe yes my love that is it. Let your cum find me.”

He did just that and then he laid to the side of her. He brought her body into his with his arms wrapped around her. The intensity of her orgasm had shocked her from her head down to her toes. Her entire body shook with pleasure and he had been the one that had done that to her. The feel of his arms holding her was not just comfort but erotic.



Carlos and Emmalyn laid there quietly and she felt exhausted with a mix of euphoria. It was a few minutes before they spoke and she was saddened that moment of comfort was now finished. “Emmalyn…” He spoke her name in his raspy whisper.

“Yes?” She responded.

“Are you okay?” He asked, looking to her with intensity in her eyes.

“Okay? Yes, I am okay. Why wouldn’t I be okay?” She asked.

“I made you cheat on Dave.” He answered. “I’m sorry I made you do something you will regret.”

“Regret? I will never regret this. Never. We are all adults and you did not make me do anything I didn’t want to do.” She answered sincerely.

“What about Dave?” He asked.

“What about him?” She asked with a hint of annoyance in her voice. He was ruining the moment by speaking about him.

“I know you and you have too big of a heart. You will end up allowing the guilt to eat at you.” He said serious and matter of fact.

“I cannot allow something to eat at me if I don’t have it. I would have to give a shit about Dave to feel guilty about this. I stopped giving a shit a long time ago.” She admitted this to him for the first time. She had never admitted her feelings towards her husband to anyone.

“You do a great job pretending because you seem to give a fuck enough to wait on him hand and foot all the time.” He responded.

A flash of hurt flashed through her eyes, which he caught but she masked it immediately. “It is easier to get through the day doing what I need to do, versus fighting all day, every day.”

He squeezed her tightly against him as she placed her head against his shoulder. His arms were a warm embrace wrapped around her so securely. “I have watched the way you and he are and how he treats you. You are put through hell and still you stay. Why?” He asked the last part so sincere and careful.

“Why?” She repeated with her tone so weak and gentle.

“He has treated you like shit for years and you don’t deserve it.” He added.

“What is it that I deserve?” She asked, honestly wanting to hear his answer.

“You deserve to smile, and smile sincerely. Not that fake smile you give when your eyes hold nothing but pain.” He answered while holding her hands within his and squeezing them tightly.

“I have three children, no family to help me and if I leave, I will have nowhere to go. I refuse to put my children through that.” She answered with the reason that had filled her mind every time she thought about leaving. She could feel her body tense up over the thought of all the stress and hardships she would face if she left her husband.

“You are smarter than the way you are acting. You could easily make it on your own. You just don’t want to.” He spoke while releasing her from his arms. She could tell by the movement, he was not happy with her.

“You have no idea how hard it is. You are not the one with three children and nowhere to go. You have never been on your own or struggled. You live with your parents still. Every paycheck you get does not disappear the day before you get it.”

“Really? Is that how you look at me? Like some child who lives with his parents, who cannot possibly understand what it is like to have adult problems.” He was pissed as all hell now. The gentle manner he had with her, had turned into anger as he moved away from her and grabbed his clothes.

“That’s not what I meant. I am just so tired of everyone making me feel like an idiot. I cannot count how many times I have been told, I should just leave. I am a mother and my children come first.” She defended herself as she reached for her clothes. She began dressing herself with her back turned to him.

“You are not going to harm your children by leaving. They see your pain, although you do not want to admit it, they know you are not happy. Have you ever thought about how they feel when they see you upset? How about when you are bruised up.” He sounded more determined for her to understand where he was coming from than he sounded angry.

“I don’t allow my babies to see how he affects me. I keep that to myself, so they do not feel anything when it comes to my unhappiness.” She tried to assure him as she stayed with her back turned to him. She pulled her panties and pants up her legs. “What happens when they are left alone with him during visitation?”

“You may think they do not see it, but they do. I know they do because I see it every time I walk through your front door. I see how he treats you and I see how emotionally drained it has left you. He does not love you but yet, you stay!” He raised his voice and she could hear it thick with emotion. “I seriously doubt he would harm his children. The moment he does, everyone will cause hell and make sure they never go through that kind of hell again.

“Oh, like the way they do with me too? Tell my something, why the hell do you care so much?” She practically shouted at him. She was near tears and fully dressed. She stood in front of the dresser mirror and closed her eyes at the emotions that flooded her insides.

He stood behind her and when she felt him against her back, she sighed with the pain her marriage brought her. She opened her eyes to his words. “I care because all of these years that have passed, have had me falling in love with you. After today, a part of me cannot deny that I have fallen completely in love with you. I want you to be happy, even if it means you and I never become a couple or be together again.”

She watched him in the mirror as he spoke those words that touched her heart sincerely. She had the bond of friendship with him over the last several years. She would mock his confession, had he been anyone else. She did not mock it and she did not question it. He spent so much time at her house and during outings that they knew one another closely.

“I cannot put myself first, or before my babies. They have to come first, even if that means staying in this hell I call marriage.” She admitted to him, even if it breaks her heart.

“Please, put the kids first then. Give them the mother they deserve. One that is happy with her life. You give your children everything and I see that. I see you are mommy and you are daddy. You do everything for them that it will be no different if you leave.” He tried to convince her but she only knew the struggles she would face upon leaving.

“My babies have a roof over their heads, food in their mouths, clothes on their backs, toys in their bedrooms and a mom at home who can protect them. That is what they need and I will not take that from them so I can be free to date or sleep with whoever I want.” She spat out with the reality of the situation thickened in her voice.

“Is that how you look at it?” He moved from behind her and stood next to her. She looked at the both of them as they stood side by side. Her hair looked softly tousled and her lips swollen from all of their kisses. They looked beautiful standing there together but she knew it could never be.

“How do you expect things to be? You are his cousin and one of his closest friends. Your mother and father would never accept us being together. It does not matter if we started a secret relationship now, or waited for a year from now. I will always be the girl who left her husband and jumped in bed with his cousin.” She tried to convince him that it would never work.

“He is the one who cheats on you, leaves you at home while he is out everywhere, ignores you when you are both home, expects you to raise the kids by yourself, expects you to wait hand and foot on him and when he does put you attention, he treats you like shit or is in a jealous rage.” He continued looking at her through the mirror and she kept her eyes on his, through the mirror. “Shall we add the beatings? You do not think I know or others know, but we all know.”

“I do not need a reminder of my life, since I do happen to live it each and every day.” She said in a clipped tone. She continued her words, not allowing him to speak. “It does not matter how things are between him and I. I will always get the blame if I leave him. People only see what they want and he has managed to make everyone see him as this perfect husband.”

“I do not see him that way. I see him for the son of a bitch he is.” He responded and as she moved to walk away from him. He reached out, took her hand and faced her to him. “I am not asking you to leave him for me. I am asking you to leave him for you.”

“I can’t and I really hope you can understand why.” She sighed out of sadness as her eyes filled with tears.

He could have reassured her or comforted her, but instead he could not do it. He hated that she would not leave Dave. “You can do it, but you do not want to. There is a difference.”

She moved out of his hold and walked out of her room. She grabbed the keys and placed them on the hook by her car keys. She was in so much pain internally but she would not let him see her pain, not any further. She struggled every single day in staying within her marriage. She thought he would understand her. Instead, he was acting as though she actually wanted to stay in this hell of a life.

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