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Secret Diary

BLEDAR TOLA



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Names, characters, businesses, places, events and incidents are the products of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.

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Chapter 1



September 1

Dear Diary,

Today was so boring... I mean, here I am a newly entered college student at the tender age of 18, totally willing to get fucked and yet things just never seem to work out! I guess it's because I'm too sweet... I just don't know how to be slutty! I want to be... I'm so envious of those confident girls in their revealing outfits, the way they strut and flirt...

I guess I just try to be too subtle. I feel uncomfortable just coming right out and saying it though....

Fortunately my roommate Dru has agreed to help me. She's a very sweet and busty girl, but sooo horny once you get her around the guys! I wouldn't have guessed it, cuz other than showing her cleavage (although with her boobs I guess it's hard for her not to!) She doesn't really dress all that revealing. But the guys love her... several of them were checking her out just when we walked to the Dining Hall. So over dinner I asked her to please, PLEASE help me.

She said that we're going to need to do a kind of Sandra Dee make-over... you know, the blonde character in Grease? I have to go from prissy prude to sexy sensation! I have to say, I'm not sure how to go about doing it. Dru says that feeling sexy is very important. Also, knowing how to have a good time. She was shocked when she found out that I've never owned a vibrator... she said she's going to take me to a dirty sex store tomorrow to pick out some toys and some sexy underwear for me to wear! We also might stop by the mall for some more revealing clothes.

I'm so excited! But a little scared too...

September 2

I had SO much fun with Dru today! We went to this very pretty and open store that had all these toys out on the shelves - although some of them were a little scary looking. It wasn't at all what I was expecting... I thought it would be dark and small with a greasy old man behind the counter, but instead it was a girl our age who helped us out wonderfully.

First Dru had me try on some very sexy lingerie that really cup my breasts... plus they just made me feel pretty. Most of the matching panties to them were actually thongs... it takes a little getting used to feeling a breeze under my skirt! She had me pick out a very short very sexy skirt that she says I can wear to a party sometime. I don't know if I would be comfortable with that, I'm afraid that if I bend over then my ass would be totally exposed... but Dru says that's the point.

Then we looked at the sex toys. I didn't want to get a pair of handcuffs, but Dru found some fuzzy purple ones that weren't too scary looking... and I guess I kinda like the idea. At the very least, when guys come into our room she says that if they're out on my desk then the guys will think I'm kinky and it might make them more interested. I feel very naughty at the idea of having handcuffs on my desk... even purple fuzzy ones. 

We also got me some lube, since I'm not used to this kind of stuff yet. I picked out two vibrators, one of them has a cute little rabbit that's supposed to stimulate my clit... and the other one is a little more scary. There's a dolphin for my clit, and the regular penis for my pussy... but then there's also a little thing that Dru says can go in my ass. I'm not sure how I feel about that. She says anal sex is great, but I always heard that it hurt a lot... still, I decided it can't hurt to try.

So I have lots of new fun toys to play with and I'm really quite excited about it all! I can't wait to try out my new look too!

September 5

Dear Diary,

I may never leave my room again! Not out of embarrassment, although my new clothes have definitely taken some getting used to, but that vibrator is amazing! I get off EVERY time, and I barely even have to work at it! If I'm just the slightest bit horny, I just put it into my sweet little pussy and turn on the dolphin and it's like a train wreck! 

I never realized anything mechanical could feel so good... it fills me up, more than my fingers every could, and I think it probably feels a lot like a real dick, and then when the little dolphin starts fluttering against my clit, I feel like my entire body is levitating! I even got the nerve to try the one with the little anal attachment last night, and shockingly it was even better! I didn't know that my ass could feel like that...

It didn't even hurt that much. It feels kinda nice to be stretched out inside me, like using a muscle that hasn't been used before but always really wanted to be used. 

I'm horny all the time now, thinking about going home and masturbating. I pinched my nipples during class today I was so turned on, and they got all hard... I think the guy sitting next to me caught me at it but I was too horny to care! As soon as I got back to my room I stripped down, hopped onto my bed and pushed that vibrator in me! I like to start it off on a low setting to kind of tease myself, and then turn it up higher and higher and higher as I get hotter and hotter! As soon as I feel like I'm about to cum I turn it up to the highest setting and it's like the world explodes!!!!

Dru says that I need to get out and meet some real guys though... we're going to a party tomorrow night. But tonight she's doing something on her own and so I have another date... just me and my vibrator!

Dear Diary,

Well, the party was a lot of fun... I was definitely feeling more confident and like a lot of guys were checking me out, but I still didn't do anything other than kiss a couple guys. That was nice though... One of them tried to slide his hand up my shirt, which made me all shivery and stuff, but I didn't let him get all the way there. I was just too nervous... maybe next time! I think next time I might drink more too, let go of my inhibitions a little! It's not like I don't want something to happen, it's just this shyness that I can't let go of.

Anyway, the party wasn't the real event of the night, the real event of the night was after I got home! I got into bed as usual, and I started playing with myself, thinking of the guys that I'd been kissing and fantasizing about what COULD have happened. I was sliding my vibe in and out of my pussy, without the clit stimulator on, just pretending it was a real guy fucking me in my room while I was drunk...

And just when I was getting really turned on, the door opened! Fortunately I was mostly covered by my blanket, and Dru didn't turn the light on, because she had a guy with her! They were obviously both really drunk and didn't even seem to notice that I was there... so I just lay there quietly with my vibe buried in my pussy, and watched as they started kissing. He pushed her back onto the bed and started pulling off her clothes...

I almost told them I was there... but I was so horny and I really wanted to watch! I'd never seen anything like this going on, and it was kinda turning me on! Besides, they were so drunk that they didn't seem to care that I was there, if they even noticed.

He pulled off Dru's shirt and bra and started playing with her breasts, which were huge! The guy obviously liked them a lot too, he kept squeezing them between his hands and mashing them around while she moaned and encouraged him. I started playing with my own breasts, mimicking his movements, pinching my nipples when he pinched hers... although I couldn't do anything to recreate it when he started sucking on her nipples except to pinch mine harder! It was turning me on soooo much...

Then he started working his mouth down her body and pulled off her pants. I couldn't really see too much of her pussy except that it was neatly trimmed and kind pink. I felt a little embarrassed looking at my roommate's pussy, especially since there was a guy looking at it too, but I really did want to see what was going to happen next. 

He lowered his head between her legs and started licking and sucking at her pussy lips, while she was gasping... she started yelling his name over and over again (it was George), telling him to lick her harder. I think he must have put his fingers inside her at some point, cuz she went even more wild, thrashing her head and telling him to go deeper.

I was so jealous... I wanted to turn on the clit stimulator of my vibrator but I was afraid that the noise would stop them... but I was so horny.

Fortunately it didn't take long for Dru to start cumming, her breasts were flopping all over the place while she humped his face... as soon as she was done he pulled himself up and pulled off his pants, positioning his dick at her pussy. It was so strange looking, long and kinda bumpy with a big bulbous mushroom head... it didn't look all that much like my dildo. There were similarities, but it was definitely not exactly the same.

As he started thrusting in and out of her pussy she started moaning really loudly, and their fucking was making squishy noises every time he entered her. I figured it was probably ok to start fucking myself with the shaft part of my vibe now that they were making so much noise. It was really hard not to moan as I shoved the shaft into me, every time George thrust into Dru. 

He started grinding himself against her too, while he was completely inside of her, and she really seemed to like that. I couldn't figure out exactly what he was doing, so I just took my left hand and started mashing around my clit... it DID feel good. My pussy felt like it was on fire, I was so turned on by them having sex and because I'd been playing with myself before they'd even got there... 

In my head a little fantasy started... George and Dru were over there fucking madly, while in my bed there was another guy, on top of me. And we were all watching each other fuck, the smell of sex filling the room... 

Then, suddenly, George stopped pumping, he took each of her legs and put them over his shoulders. I could only watch in fascination as he leaned forward, putting all of his weight on her legs, and started fucking her again. It was like he was bending her in half! But Dru seemed to love it even more than their first position, she started screaming at him to fuck her harder, put it in deeper...

I didn't know what to do, I wanted to feel what she was feeling! But I couldn't even figure out how to do it with my vibrator. I lifted my legs a little, but it didn't really change the feeling... Dru was obviously loving what was happening to her though, she was going wild underneath George, thrashing around and moaning.

The position let him grab hold of her big boobs too, and he seemed to really like fucking her as he squeezed them. 

Watching them got me so turned on and so frustrated that I just started slamming my vibrator into my pussy over and over again, my other hand going overtime on my clit... and I had to clench my teeth together to keep from crying out when I came. It was so good and so hot, having such a long build up, my legs closed together over my hands and I shook and burned and tingled all over... 

When I was finished Dru and George were still going at it. I think they fucked three times that night... that first time while I played with myself and then not long afterwards she started sucking his dick (which was something altogether interesting to watch) and got him hard again before fucking him with her on top. I played with myself again that time too. Then, as I was falling asleep they were just starting to fuck again, this time he was behind her in the "doggy-style" position. I just more took notes that time, watching as he reached under her and held onto her swinging boobs, the way he spanked her ass a couple of times...

It was like watching a porno movie, except so much hotter because I knew that neither of them were acting. Everything was just sexy, although occasionally more awkward than a movie would be. And a movie can't give you that crazy musky sweaty smell of sex... and for some reason that smell turned me on more than anything else combined.

Pheromones I guess. 

All I know is that the next party I really want to find a guy to do SOMETHING with. Maybe not all those things, but to try out a few things with. Have him touch me and me touch him...



Dear Diary,

Dru is taking me to another party tonight. I told her that I was in the room while she and George were going at it... she blushed and apologized. I couldn't bring myself to tell her that it was totally ok, I just said that it hadn't bothered me that much. She was still a little embarrassed though.

My goal for tonight... try a little more than just kissing!

Chapter 2



Dear Diary, 

I met this guy named Luke last night... he was SO cute. Really fun too, we met at the party and he just automatically started taking care of me, making sure that I always had a drink when I wanted it and talking to me... it was so easy too! I didn't know that it could be easy to talk to a guy. 

When he was in the bathroom, this one really drunk guy started annoying me, trying to kiss me and paw at me, and it actually scared me a lot... but as soon as Luke got back and saw the situation he totally jumped in and saved me! Put his arm around me and told the other guy to back off of "his girl". I've never had a guy call me "his girl" before, and even though I know that Luke was just saying it to get the guy off me, it definitely sent a tingle up my spine!

I spent the whole party with him... and he asked if I wanted to meet up for dinner tonight! Dru says that makes it a date... but I don't know. He didn't call it a date. Still, I'm trying to look extra nice for it!

But that's still not even the best part about last night, the best part was that he walked me home, with his arm around me the whole way! And then when we got to my room, he stopped and talked to me for awhile... and then he kissed me good night! It was really soft and sweet... and then he deepened it and began to french me. The best kiss of my LIFE! I got all weak in the knees and tingly inside, it was a good thing he was holding me up!

We kissed for a little bit... and then he said goodnight! He didn't even try to get into my room... I was too shy to invite him. Didn't really have that much to drink... but I'm seeing him again tonight. And hey, it's not a bad thing to find a guy that I actually like, as opposed to someone that just wants to sleep with me!

Dear Diary,

I kinda think Dru was right and tonight WAS a date! I mean, we didn't go anywhere special exactly, just to the diner down the street... but he was so attentive! And it was just us. =) Although some of his friends were eating there too, and when they came by the table to say hi he introduced me to all of them. I felt incredibly special... not to mention excited! And he paid... so I think it was a date.

Anyway, afterwards we wandered around campus a little, talking and occasionally he would sneak in and steal a kiss which made me blush something awful! I wasn't drunk at all, so all my inhibitions were there... but it was still easier than I ever thought it would be. He picked a flower for me, a pretty pink one that he said reminded him of me cuz it was "blushing". Which of course made me blush again, so I hit him.

Then I got up the nerve to ask him if he wanted to come back to my room and watch a movie. He looked really happy that I'd asked, but not like he expected sex immediately or anything... both disappointing and relieving! I think he kinda realizes that I'm an innocent and don't really know what I'm doing. Well, as long as he thinks it's cute!

During the movie we were sitting on my bed and he had his arms around me, and then he leaned over and started kissing me in the middle of the movie. And I started kissing back... and the next thing I knew we were making out! I don't even know how it happened, but he was on top of me and we were kissing... and he kissed my neck and my shoulders too and I just thought I was going to die. It all felt so good... but kinda scary too!

Then his hand slipped up my shirt, and he was feeling my breast! I kinda tensed a little, but he was very gentle and I managed to relax. He didn't try to do anything else, just kissed me and squeezed my breast... well, and played with my nipple a little. God, I was so turned on I think I would have done anything else that he'd wanted though! It felt sooo good to have him touching me like that, while we were kissing. Made me tingly... you know?

Anyway, Dru ended up coming back to the room and we pulled apart, but he had me leaning against him during the movie and he slid his hands up my shirt anyway... she couldn't tell of course cuz the lights were off and my shirt wasn't very tight. So he kept playing with my boobs while the movie was going on and kissing my neck, and it drove me WILD.

When he left he kissed me soooo hard, I thought I might melt right there.

As soon as he left Dru wanted to know everything that happened of course. She was shocked that I'd been felt up while she was right there, said I was kinkier than she thought! I wonder what she would say if she knew about me playing with myself while she had sex with George... 

Dear Diary,

Today was the best day ever! I hadn't seen Luke for the past two days, although he called last night, so we arranged to meet for lunch! And Dru had class, so after eating and talking a lot we went back to my room again.

This time we didn't even bother to start watching a movie. I was so horny, I started kissing him as soon as we got in the door! We made out on my bed, and he had his hands up my shirt again... I couldn't stop moaning it felt sooo good... and I kept kinda pushing my pussy up against him. Then he pulled my shirt off and my bra and started licking and sucking on my nipples! I thought I was going to explode it felt so good!

He didn't stop there though... he took my hand and put it in his pants, wrapping my fingers around his dick! It was the first time I've ever touched one... and it felt so big and throbbing in my hand... but hot too! Firm... I moved my hand up and down it, jacking him off like Dru had told me to do. It's a good thing she talked to me about all the different things guys and girls do together or I would have had no idea what to do!

Luke moaned and kept playing with my breasts while I jerked him. Eventually he ended up cumming in his pants! It got all over my hand, kinda sticky and wet... I licked some of it from my fingers to see what it would taste like. It wasn't too bad. And his eyes practically glowed when I did that. I think it REALLY turned him on, but I wasn't trying to be sexy... I was just curious!

So then, he said that I hadn't had MY turn, and he started pulling down my pants. For a minute I wanted to stop him, no guy has EVER seen my naked! But his hands felt soooo good on my body... and it wasn't like he was hard anymore so I knew it wasn't for sex. He pulled my pants down and then slid his hands back up my legs - I was practically writhing in front of him it was so hot! My pussy was soaking, not to mention tingling! 

Then he started eating me out! I thought I was going to DIE it felt so good, soft and firm and wet... and then he started working one of his fingers inside me! It felt so strange, not at all like my vibrator. Then he put another finger inside me, and he was licking all around his fingers and nibbling on my clit, and it felt like I was hit by a train. I don't think it took 5 minutes before I was cumming all over his face!

I think things might have continued and gone even farther, but I glanced at the clock and realized that Dru was going to be back soon. I got dressed and then we kissed goodbye. He said he'd be busy tomorrow, but that maybe we could get together the day after that! I'm so excited...

Dear Diary,

I'm really glad that I already put myself on the pill, otherwise I'd be scrambling right now. I really think that Luke's the guy... he's just so wonderful and considerate and sweet! Even though he couldn't see me today, he called this evening just to say that he was thinking of me! Sometimes I feel like I'm melting or something!

Dear Diary,

WOW! The past few days have been a trip! It's crazy, now that I've got Luke and really like him, suddenly it seems like there are all these other guys who are interested! It's a little weird how that works. But things have been so fantastic with Luke that I'm not even interested in them! Although it is nice to be noticed.

Luke and I don't see each other every day, but he usually calls if we can't see each other. And things get hot and heavy when they can... it makes me want so much more! The last time we were together, I decided to try licking his dick... not a full on blow-job, I don't know if I'm ready for that, but just sliding my tongue up and down it and I even put just the head of his dick in my mouth!

He really seemed to like it, and it wasn't too scary.

I think my favorite thing about Luke is that he doesn't mind taking things slowly. He never pushes me past where I want to go, if he DOES try to go further he always waits for me to say yes. Not like I'm saying no much... everything is so new and interesting and exciting! Sometimes I think I just want to say 'Let's have sex!'... but then I get nervous.

Slow is better. Even if it is frustrating.

Dear Diary,

I had a FANTASTIC date with Luke last night! AND I gave my first blow-job!

First we went out to dinner and everything, and he took me to a movie. Since we hadn't seen each other yesterday and the day before that we hadn't had a chance to fool around, I was REALLY horny. So in the middle of the movie, I reach over and start sliding my hand up and down his thigh, and I could feel him tense up next to me, his arm tightening around my shoulders. I kinda snuggled in closer and started bringing my hand closer and closer to his crotch on the inside of his thigh... and then finally brought my hand up and slipped it into his pants!

He kinda gasped, shocked I think that I would be doing this in public! And I gave him a hand job, right there in the movie theater!

Afterwards, he took me back to his place cuz it was closer, and he growled at me and picked me up and tossed me on his bed! I could tell that he was still turned on by the fact that I'd wanted to give him a hand job in the movie theater! He stripped me down and started kissing me, really hard and deep, being kind of rough. It was really hot...

And then he slid down my body and started eating me out, licking and sucking at my pussy and pushing his fingers in and out of me! I love the way it feels when he's licking me, he has this vibrating thing that he does with his lips - I think it comes from playing an instrument! - that feel fantastic on my clit. 

After I came he snuggled up next to me and we kissed and stroked each other. He was naked too, and as he started getting harder, I started getting more curious. So I pushed him back so that he was laying down and I started exploring HIS body! I used my hands and my mouth... and his nipples seem to be just as sensitive as mine! He really liked it when I was sucking on them, and I bit down really really gently and it made him gasp... i could actually feel his dick throbbing in my hand!

So I worked my way down to his dick real slow, teasing him... running my tongue along his stomach and his legs (even though they're kinda hairy!). I licked his balls, and up and down his dick - mostly just gathering the nerve to do the actual deed. Luke was moaning really hard, his hands running through my hair, and it just made me feel incredibly confident and sexy...

And I put my lips over the head of his dick and started to glide down. He kept moaning, his hips thrusting up a little... when his dick hit the back of my throat it made me gag a little so I had to pull back. I kept one hand wrapped around the base of his dick and just tried to get my lips down to that. It made me gag a little, but it felt really nice too... it tasted nice. Kinda... warm and musky or something!

I kept bobbing my head up and down, pausing sometimes around the top of this dick and teasing the head with my tongue. He really liked it when I pressed my tongue against the little hole in the head, I think it was really sensitive. One hand was in my hair the whole time, but he reached down and started playing with my boobs with the other one... it gave me shivers to have him tugging on my nipple while I was blowing him.

Even though it was my first time, he really seemed to enjoy it, and I started trying to get my mouth further and further down his dick. I got almost all the way to the base! But then he started breathing faster and thrusting his hips up and down...

He told me he was gonna cum, but I wanted to swallow it! Maybe never again, but at least the first time just so I'd know what it was like. All of the sudden, it just started filling my mouth, almost coating it... sweet and bitter at the same time, like nothing I've ever tasted before. And it just kept coming! I could feel the spurts traveling along his dick where my hand was wrapped around it, and flowing into my mouth... that was kinda weird but kinda hot too.

I felt him relax even before the spurts stopped... so I just kept sucking gently as he got smaller and smaller in my mouth. It was kinda nice to suddenly be able to fit all of him in easily! 

Afterwards we cuddled some more - and he was weirded out when I wanted to kiss him! But I pointed out that I had been willing to kiss him when he had just eaten me out, and that it's basically the same thing. I could still tell it made him feel a little strange though... I teased him about it. It made me feel kinda superior that I hadn't had a problem with it and he had! 

*

Dear Diary,

Luke came over today, and this time we 69-ed! It was really cool... at first I was on the bottom, and he kinda just let his whole dick slide into my mouth and down my throat! It didn't hit my gag reflex so the whole thing went in... but then I couldn't breath and kinda panicked so he let me be on top after that.

It was really hot... and I've decided that I like swallowing! It definitely turns him on when I do... although part of the reason I love it is because he gets so uncomfortable when I want to kiss him after. Today I chased him around the room trying to kiss him - just joking like - until he grabbed me and held me down on the bed...

I kinda thought we were gonna have sex, but we were out of time cuz his roommate was due back soon. 

*sigh*

Soon... I think it's going to be soon. I'm just so comfortable with him and everything's so easy. He makes me happy.



Chapter 3



Dear Diary,

I'm no longer a virgin!!!

It was so much better than I ever expected it to be. The night started out like any other, going to dinner and bowling! But... I don't know. I was feeling giddy or something, and the entire night the idea that we might have sex was definitely turning over and over in my head... I knew I wanted to, but I didn't really know how to go about doing it.

I was definitely feeling sexy, I had on the cutest underwear underneath my shorts and shirt! Lacy and black and just sexy. Plus, the way that Luke looks at me always makes me feel sexy anyway! Afterwards, we went back to my room to watch a movie, and Dru was just on her way out... and she said not to expect her back that night! I think she was going out with George again. Anyway, as soon as she said it I knew that I REALLY wanted to have sex, especially because Luke could totally sleep over afterwards and we'd be totally alone! I didn't want anyone walking in my first time, that was for sure.

So Dru left and we started watching the movie, and of course that led to making out. And kissing led to him feeling me up, and somehow we inched further and further down the bed until we were both naked and he was on top of me. Then he started kissing my breasts and my stomach, and working his way down in between my legs. And when he started eating me out, it was like electricity running through my entire body!!

Then, I don't know what happened, it's like I couldn't help myself and I just said, "Fuck me."

I didn't even mean to say it like that, I mean, I'm NOT a slut or anything, but I was just so lost in the pleasure or something and the words just came out! And Luke looks up at me and says "Really?"

And I said, "Yes..." although a lot more demurely.

So he slides back up and kisses me, really hard and passionately, and I could feel his dick nudging against my pussy. I wanted so bad for him to just slide it up into me... but he just kept kissing me and massaging my breasts... I kept humping my hips upwards so I could feel his dick head sliding between my pussy lips. It made him gasp, and I knew that I was getting to him too and that REALLY excited me.

Eventually, he pulled off of me and pulled out a condom. I was shivering with excitement, watching him put it on. Then he was back on top of me, kissing me even harder, and he reached one hand down in between our legs and I could feel him moving his dick around so that it was right at the entrance of my pussy. When he started to push in, I gasped... clutching at his neck. It just felt so strange, it didn't hurt like I expected it to... more like a steady pressure, or stretching. Like when you stretch a muscle that you didn't even know you had and it feels SO good.

It was NOTHING like the vibrator... so much softer and yet so firm, wider... I moaned as he pressed deeper. Definitely longer. And with the heavy weight of HIM on top of me, which made it all so different.

He asked me if it hurt, and all I could do was shake my head no. It was like I could even form coherent thoughts much less words. I guess I didn't have a hymen, I didn't feel anything break... and then his groin was pressed up against mine and I realized that he was all the way inside me. Just the thought of it made me shudder with pleasure - and then he started thrusting.

In some ways that almost hurt, just because it was so much more forceful than I'm used to, I felt so small and helpless beneath him, but so turned on by that at the same time! He was like this hard force above me, driving into me, opening me up, and I just spread my legs wider and held him tighter. I started driving my hips up to meet him, and he would hold my lower body down with his body and then rub his groin against my clit. It made me writhe with pleasure... and I think he liked that a lot. 

He put his hands under my head and lifted it up for a really deep kiss while he kept moving in and out of my body. Thanks to the lube on the condom it was really slick and easy, although I was so wet that I think it would have been anyway. I wrapped my legs around his body, trying to use them to push him into me... he kept teasing me by keeping just the head of his dick in and then suddenly plunging all the way into me. It hurt in the most wonderful way possible.

Luke took everything nice and slow, making sure to build up my pleasure rather than just concentrating on his own. I could tell because he was always looking at me for my reaction... not that I was thinking about it too much at the time, I was totally lost in all the incredible sensations. He hooked one arm under my leg, keeping my knee in the crook of his elbow, and he started really pounding me hard. 

I practically screamed it felt so good, and it was the most incredible orgasm in the world. So much more powerful than any of the ones that I had ever managed to give myself, and all I could do was hold onto his shoulders... Then, since I was cumming, he started going all out, getting himself off and that just made my orgasm even MORE intense! I ended up having to reach up above my head and hold onto the bars there. 

I could tell when he started cumming, because he suddenly lunged all the way into me and then stopped, holding so tight it took my breath away. My pussy was still humming and I could feel something different happening, although I'm not sure what. Then he collapsed on top of me.

We just lay there for a little bit, although not too long. Didn't want to leave the condom inside me for too long. Even though I'm on the pill, I didn't want to take any chances and I don't think he did either!

Then we cuddled and snuggled... and eventually had sex again. It actually hurt more the second time, because I was kinda sore from the first, but that went away REALLY fast. This time we switched positions and he let me be on top! I think he liked watching me bounce up and down on top of him... although I was a mean little tease! Sliding up and down VERY slowly. By the end, he grabbed me and rolled us over and just fucked me hard.

It was incredible. All of it.

Dear Diary,

Oh my god it hurt when I went to the bathroom this morning! Just soooo raw and chafed. I'm really really sore... 

But still really really horny! It's like, I had a taste of sex and now I want MORE MORE MORE!

Dear Diary,

I think I might be a nympho. Even though my pussy is soooo sore, I can't stop! It's probably a good thing that we couldn't get together yesterday. But he's coming over tonight! And I'm going to JUMP him!

Dear Diary,

Wow... it's been almost a week since I've lost my virginity and yet it's like I can't get enough! I just want Luke, ALL the time... it's so sad for me when he can't be around. Dru's still telling me not to get too attached, but how can I not? He's just so... so PERFECT. Didn't get to see him yesterday though, Dru took me to a party instead.

It seems like there are always more guys hitting on my lately, and even though they're very cute and interesting, I just can't seem to get really interested! Maybe Dru's right and I should date more, rather just being so fixated on Luke... but I REALLY like him. 

Maybe I'll talk to him about it. I mean, I probably should anyway, cuz we never said that we're totally together. And maybe this is getting too serious too fast, I mean, we have a great time together, but maybe everything's kinda gearing towards sex lately... sad to say, it's not even all his fault. I really do feel like a little nympho sometimes. On days when I can't see him, I bring out my vibrator... and as soon as I do see him my pussy gets all wet!

The other night I was lying alone in bed, and I ended up having this really crazy erotic dream where he just came in and started fucking me, over and over in all these different positions. And even though I didn't totally want to have sex, I wanted to talk or something, he wouldn't let me... just grabbed me and threw me on the bed! It was the hottest dream ever... can girls have wet dreams? Because I definitely think I orgasmed at the end of it. 

*

Dear Diary,

So I talked to Luke. I'm feeling sad... I don't even know why I did it. But now I feel like I might have ruined everything. He seemed taken aback by it all... and he said that he wasn't seeing anyone else at the moment, but that if I felt that we were getting to serious he could pull back some.

GOD I'm such an idiot. Now I wish I just hadn't said anything at all. OR said that I wanted to see him, JUST him exclusively. Cuz that's the truth.

Dru is saying I should take advantage of the fact though, and it does seem silly to go back on it. Maybe in a week, and that'll be enough time so that I don't look like a total idiot.

*

Dear Diary,

I saw Luke today! That made me happy... it was as if we never had the talk. Things seemed exactly the same... I feel REALLY relieved. 

It was pretty hot too, we didn't have time to go back to either of our rooms, so he pulled me into an empty class room and pressed me up against the wall. We started kissing, really heavily, and he put his hands up my shirt and started squeezing my boobs. I kinda gasped, and asked him what he was doing... I mean, sure the classroom was empty but that didn't mean that someone couldn't walk in!

He just grinned and kissed me again and started pulling up my skirt. The next thing I knew he had his fingers in my pussy and his other hand was undoing his pants. Then he pulled my panties to the side and started fucking me, right there up against the wall of the classroom! It was the hottest thing we've ever done... knowing that someone could walk in, but still feeling like we were totally alone. And it made me feel so sexy, knowing that he had to have me right there, right THEN and couldn't wait at all! 

It didn't take long, it was just a quickie, but I came anyway... my legs all wrapped around his waist and everything! We were like something out of a movie.

We're not seeing each other tonight though... he's going out to a party. I didn't use to mind when he went to parties without me, but now I'm feeling really anxious... I mean, there might be a girl there. And the other day I practically TOLD him to date other people.

God I'm such an idiot. It hasn't ruined the afternoon for me, but I don't know if thinking about that is going to be enough to get me through this evening.

*

Dear Diary,

he called after the party... drunk. I was too afraid to ask if he'd met anyone or done anything. We just talked for a bit and then said goodbye.

I feel so lonely right now.

*

Dear Diary,

Tonight was awful.

Dru finally got tired of me moping around whenever Luke was out without me, so she decided that we were going to go to a party ourselves. She dressed me up all pretty and did my hair and make-up, I didn't want to go but she wouldn't take no for an answer. You know, if she was a guy I think I could totally date her.

Anyway, we got there late, late enough that a lot of people were already drunk and really loud and everything. I wasn't really into it anyway, but Dru dragged me down to the basement to get some drinks... and there, in the corner of the room was Luke with this really pretty girl. They were just talking, but she was obviously flirting and pressing up against him, and I just felt like my heart was contracting, getting smaller and smaller inside my chest.

Then, the worst ever, she took his face in her hands and pulled him down for a kiss.

I thought I was going to die.. fortunately Dru turned around with the drinks in her hands and saw my face, and then saw what I was looking at and she got me out of there SO fast. I think that Luke might've looked up and seen us at the end, but I'm not sure. I was having a little trouble seeing... I didn't want to cry there but my eyes were all full of tears.

God I'm such an idiot! I did this ALL to myself, trying to make sure that things weren't getting too serious too fast... who cares if they were? We might've STAYED serious... instead of this, this STUPIDITY!

I really hate myself right now. And he hasn't called yet.

*

Dear Diary,

I talked to Luke today... things were weird, but I think it was mostly on my end. I don't think he saw me at the party though. If he did, he didn't say anything about it. I didn't say anything about it either. I couldn't take it for very long though, told him I had to go. 

I'm so fucked up.



Chapter 4



Dear Diary,

So Dru finally dragged me out of my slump... and I'm still an idiot but I might as well do what Luke is and not be retarded. So I'm going on a date tonight with a very nice guy named Chris, he asked me out a couple times before but I always said no since I was concentrating completely on Luke... Still wish I just hadn't talked to him about seeing other people. I wish I'd just said I wanted to see just him instead of getting freaked out... I feel so stupid.

Anyway, at least I look good. And I'm feeling better.

Almost time for the date... *sigh*

Dear Diary,

Incredibly uncomfortable, when Chris and I were walking down the street to the restaurant, I definitely saw Luke with some of his friends on the other side of the street. He looked soooo stricken... I wonder if I looked like that when I saw that girl kiss him. And there was definitely no misinterpreting, Chris had his arm around my waist, pulled in close. 

I have to admit, it kind of gave me a rush to know that Luke was now seeing ME with someone else, and even though we weren't kissing we were obviously on a date. 

I did let Chris kiss me at the end of the date... it was nice, sweet. Very soft. But he wasn't Luke. And even though I'm kind of attracted to him, and we had a good date I still just want to date Luke.

Man I'm a stupid girl sometimes.

Dear Diary,

OH MY GOD. Absolutely insane.

So, a couple hours after Chris walked me back to my room, there's this really hard knocking on the door and I hear Luke calling out my name! So I open the door, and there he is, looking a little worse for the wear and he just GRABS me and starts kissing me really deep and pushing me back to the bed! I managed to get the door closed behind him, but then his arms just pulled me against him and wouldn't let go.

There was something intensely possessive about it... and thank God Dru was out for the night already.

He pushed me back onto the bed and he was kissing me soooo deeply, it made my entire body tingle. And then he started practically ripping both of our clothes off, I couldn't even do ANYTHING... especially since he was lying completely across me. It was so hot though, like he had to have me right then and there and I don't think he would have even cared if Dru HAD been home!

It was really rough, and at the same time REALLY hot. His hands squeezed my breasts soooo tight and then all of the sudden he was thrusting into me, and I wasn't really ready and it hurt a little but felt SO good at the same time! Being not quite wet enough seemed to make me even tighter and we were both gasping as he shoved inside me, he was squeezing my breasts so hard I felt like they were going to pop!

And then he kind of groaned and started thrusting back and forth, really hard, one arm wrapped around my body while he kept squeezing my boobs with his other hand. Then he pressed his lips against the nape of my neck and started sucking, I tried to push him off at first because I didn't want a hickey, but he wouldn't let go! It was like he was determined to leave a mark on me, HIS mark... and as my pussy got wetter and wetter I stopped caring. Just having him inside me felt so good... and the next thing I knew his lips were off of my neck and mine were on his! I was using my teeth too, biting down, and I didn't even realize it at first...

The entire time I was sucking on his neck and he was fucking me he was whispering, "Mine mine mine mine... say you're mine... mine... ALL mine..."

I let go of his neck and my lips felt so swollen from sucking on his skin, and I said, "I'm yours... I'm yours, just yours, and YOU'RE MINE!"

And he just started fucking me even harder, and I cried out... it felt like we were going to go through the bed! Then he grabbed my hands and held them above my head, and basically held me down while he just fucked me harder and harder, and his face got all twisted up... and then I was screaming because I was cumming so hard. He held me down the whole time, just thrusting and thrusting while I writhed underneath him, and just as I thought I was finishing he went into a kind of rapid-fire and then shoved deeply all the way and held it there. I could feel his dick swelling up inside me, and for the first time I realized that he wasn't even wearing a condom and that he was going to cum INSIDE me for the first time and my orgasm just exploded into another one.

Waves of pleasure, gripping both of us... he was so hard and immobile on top of me and I couldn't stop rubbing my pussy against him, I could actually FEEL him spurting inside of me. It was safe enough, I was on the pill after all... my mother had always told me to use two kinds of birth control to be sure but I hadn't missed a day of taking my pill ever since Luke and I FIRST started having sex.

He lay on top of me for awhile, just stroking my hair and we were murmuring to each other... I don't even know what. Just like, how much we liked each other and how jealous we'd been and how silly it had all been... I told him that I'd wanted to be exclusive but I'd been afraid that HE wouldn't, and I'd just made a mess of the whole thing. He told me that after the girl kissed him he just kinda pulled away and actually left the party.

So neither of us did anything more than kiss someone else... which is nice to know. Not that it would have mattered anyway, since we weren't actually together, if he had done something more, but it might have bothered me. 

Anyway, he slept over that night and we are now OFFICIALLY together.

Dear Diary,

Chris asked me out on a second date... had to tell him no. I felt kind of bad about it... but can't do anything about it. He was really sweet about it though, very in character... he's such a nice guy, I think if I hadn't found Luke first I could have definitely dated Chris. 

But I'm very happy with Luke... especially because he says tomorrow he has a surprise for me. Something fun and kinky!


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