Excerpt for Lunchbox and The Cape 2 by , available in its entirety at Smashwords

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LUNCHBOX

AND

THE CAPE 2










BY BILL ZHAO













TABLE OF CONTENTS


  1. Grandad’s Surprise - 3

The Flusher - 7

2. Asian Justice - 11

3. Short Abuse - 15

4. Super Streetfight - 19

5. Feely’s Fury - 23

-----------------------------------------------

6. Justice Reform - 27

Asad the Pirate - 31

7. Classroom Chaos - 35

8. Chinese Torture - 39

9. Basement Battle - 43

Ser Dinnertime - 47

10. The Super Market – 51




















1

GRANDAD’S SURPRISE

Mist poured down from the rocks, covering the bushes with crystal droplets and smothering them with the wet. A silhouette appears from the midst of the spring shower. A tall figure, donning a suit of white and streaks of brown. A modestly sized ‘F’ placed at the centre of his chest. Around his waist was a brown belt fitted with the latest in household plumbing technology, but this was no ordinary plumber. His name was William Joshua Feely, and he had recently flunked his plumbing paper. Now he was going to show the world the true way to fix an overflowing toilet. William walked towards the middle-aged woman crawling away from him. Her fingers couldn’t grasp onto the moist dirt. William smiled. “Now sister, you will learn of my true power” he grinned. “As I am The Flusher!”

“C’mon lady, just one quickie, and your plumbing debt is wiped” chuckled the dastardly plumber. “Like I told you from the beginning” replied Rachel “Your plumbing ain’t worth shit!” as she pushed the man so hard that the van he collided into fell down on its side. She dusted off her hands in the most cliché way possible before returning to the dining room. “So Barry, how’re you enjoying your milkshake? Rachel smiled at her son, who was far more interested in the 2 Litre milkshake he was slurping in front of him. A massive mix of vanilla, ice cream and other white stuff. “Okay son, I know Grandpa’s milkshakes are nice, but you’ve really got to listen to your mother once in a while, alright?” Barry nodded, which was more than Rachel usually got back, although she was still not used to that eyepatch he had to wear. An old man creaked into the dining room and Barry’s seemingly endless slurping ceased. “Grandad!” he exclaimed. The two smiled. Grandad was holding a red package wrapped with a nice bow. “Happy Birthday, Barry” he smiled. “Aww yuss! Shouted Barry as he wrapped his arms around his grandad so tight that his eyes almost started to bulge out of his head. For both of them. Grandad chuckled deeply and warmly. “Heh heh heh” he smiled as Barry released his death grasp. The kid took the present and tore off the side of the red wrapping. He already knew what it was. “I got it at a garage sale” exclaimed Grandad. Barry was overjoyed. “Aw cool! Just like yours, mom!” he yelled as he held up his second-hand vibrator. Rachel expressed a smile of diminishing surprise. “Nice, Barry! Say thank you to grandad.” Barry, clutching the mighty stick in both hands, turned back to his grandad “Thank you grandpappy!” Grandad smiled intensely before turning to face his ‘daughter’. “I thought my grandson should have a little fun of his own once in a while, I mean after all, he is approaching ‘that age’…” Rachel nodded. “Sure. I’ve got to go the SupplySave. I’ll be back in a half hour. You take care of Barry, alright?” Grandad grinned “Of course. I wouldn’t let anything happen to my precious pumpkin while you’re gone” She stood up to get her purse and keys. As soon as he heard the door close and the car engine start, Grandad turned to face Barry, who was already sitting on the vibrating sex toy, making a questionable noise. “Guhhuguhhguhhguhh” went Barry as his ‘grandfather’ approached him. “How ‘bout we go to the bedroom?” he asked in a noticeably deeper voice. Barry gulped and nodded.

The Flusher towered over his cowering sister. Giggling, he loosened the pipe wrench from his toolbelt. “William, please…” said the woman. The Flusher ignored her sister once again. Soon there will be no more nagging to dismiss. William Feely stood at a towering two metres tall, his colossal but skinny shadow more than blanketed his sister’s body. “Gisele, you won’t bully me any more…” William smiled intensely as he raised his pipe wrench. He was barely able to walk with it on him, let alone lift it, but his cunning arrogance got the best of him. Once the wrench reached its zenith, William’s left arm cracked and the wrench dropped down on his sister’s ankle. “Yaaaaa!” the sibling screamed in tandem, but William, now fuelled by rage, sent all his energy down to his left and charged his foot to drive right between his sister’s legs. Gisele screamed further as her brother kicked her repeatedly in her crotch. And with each kick, William raged harder. A pale white aura glowed around him and his suit as his kicking sped up rapidly and grew exponentially stronger. He heard the loud crack of his sister’s pelvis shattering and soon her ribs, and her head. Dealing massive trauma to her internal organs and dislocating her head from her spine in a single kick, William’s face glowed red with fury. One final kick. And with a skull shattering crack, The Flusher decapitated his sister. A headless corpse laid lifeless on the bloody rock by the river. “You will never bully me again…” he cried. “I’m going home!” The Flusher started to break down as he ran away from his sister’s corpse. He ran up the hill by the waterfall with his recently supercharged legs, leaping metres up at a time. He looked like a fucking clown on stilts dancing up like that. At the top of the waterfall, he saw his parents’ mansion in the distance, beyond the hedge maze and numerous fountains. William never knew how to get through the maze so he always walked on top of it. Given his gnarly height, it was many times easier. After ‘navigating’ the hedge maze, The Flusher jumped down to see his rows of luxury cars and the backyard helipad. Walking past the golden statues of him and his sister at ages one to 10, he opened the golden framed door to one of his twelve living rooms. He took off his white bowl shaped headgear and threw it down on the ornate table, smashing it into mere splinters. Looking up, he saw the family photo he took last year. The burning eyes of his brother Tommy burning a hole into his memories. “I will avenge you…” he said. With watery eyes, he looked over to the stairwell and saw the bloody and mangled corpses of his extended family. On top of the bodies were Tommy’s cats, Simon and Randy the Mandy. William’s own cat, Gary lapped the blood beside the bodies. Named after his late aunt, Gary was the latest in the long line of Feely felines. Tommy was William’s younger brother. He was still in high school when he died at the hands his fellow students. Little did William know that the path to vengeance led straight through Lunchbox and The Cape…

Barry backed up on the steel framed, custom made reinforced bed. Grandad locked the door behind them as he licked his lips. “Now let’s get those shorts off you…” he muttered. Barry whimpered as he looked up at the advancing old man. “It’s always been me, Barry” said Grandad in a raspy voice. “No matter what road you slump down, you’ll always become me. Admit it, you enjoyed it when you beat those kids up at your school, all that physical contact… You like kids, and what better kid to like than yourself? All that jerkin’ off is nothing compared to this. What I’ve been searching for my entire life… myself.” Fat tears streaked down Barry’s face as future Barry crawled pants-less onto the bed. Old Barry placed his above average sized hand on Barry’s shoulder, before wrapping it around the back of his head. A debilitating crack shattered the room and splinters showered Future-Barry’s back. The old fat man yelled as blood seeped out his back. “Looks like you’ve gotten weak in your old age” said Rachel, standing in the door frame. Old Barry turned back with an aggressive hiss as Rachel force grabbed a handful of bullets from a nearby drawer. “Where’s your gun, bitch?” rasped old Barry. “Bitch, I am the gun” smiled Rachel as she force lifted all the bullets and with the flick of a hand, fired all twelve of them into old Barry’s body. The old man screamed as the projectiles became human hole punchers, tearing right through his lungs, kidneys and heart. One bullet even ripped through an eye and out the back of his skull. Old Barry choked up blood before falling still on the bed. “You are not my Barry” commented Rachel at the body before rushing over to caress her present-day son. “A fucking time travelling paedophile… This world really has gone to shit. I just hope your real grandpa is okay...” Though Rachel had already lost her ex-husband, best friend and future son, she had a feeling that the worst was yet to come.


















THE FLUSHER:

AN ORIGIN STORY

“Tommy was a good boy” cried Mrs Feely. “He was a good student, why couldn’t you be like him, William? All you do is rage and masturbate! Fucking useless son!” Mrs Feely yelled at her les preferred son then walked away into the rain. Her servants quickly ran to put umbrellas over her head. Mr Feely walked over to William. “Don’t listen to your mother. She can get a bit… emotional at times like these. Just ignore her. She’ll be back to normal before you know it. Now try and find a job, champ.” Mr Feely patted William on his shoulder before going to join his wife. William Feely looked solemnly at his younger brother’s grave. It was marked TOMMY FEELY, 2003-2016, Beloved Student. This made William angry. He was never beloved or anything. The funeral ceremony was ending, and everyone was leaving. William, in his premium black suit had always loved his brother, but the one thing that angered him most was living in his shadow, despite Tommy being younger than him. William Feely scratched his pubes then walked to his limousine. His butler quickly came to him with an umbrella and opened the door for him. “Hurry the fuck up, William!” shouted his mother. “Tommy would have been so much faster than you, you fucking disappointment of a child!” Mrs Feely cried and blew into her $1000 disposable embroided napkin. “Get a hold of yourself, woman” asserted Mr Feely to his wife, who slapped him in return. “Never forget, James” shouted Mr Feely to his face “I am the leader of this household, so you can shut your fucking trap up too! Unless you want another whip-slapping!” James Feely sat back in his seat. “Yes, ma’am.” The matriarch of the Feely family ordered the driver to start back to their mansion. The rest of the car ride was quiet. William Feely felt a tingling down below. It was his junk, doing that thing again. He couldn’t resist the temptation. His pubes were too itchy. William put his hand down his pants and started to shake violently. “Ugh! He’s doing it again!” whined Mrs Feely. “Stop him, James!” Mr Feely quickly reached over to his son and grabbed his shaking hand. “No touchy in the car!” he commanded. “But I’m itchy!!!” complained William. “Just stop it now okay? We’ll play bedroom surprise once we get home.” William nodded and giggled. “Yeah that’s fucking fun! I lick it! I mean like!” Mr Feely came back with a whopping slap to his face. “Don’t mention this to your mother!” he said as loud as he could without Mrs Feely hearing. William nodded eagerly.

Two weeks later, William Feely arrived at a stranger’s home. He carried a toolkit and was wearing grey overalls, sporting the Cal’s Plumbing logo and badge. He knocked on the door and a blond woman in her early thirties opened it. She was breastfeeding a baby. “Ooh! Goo-goo” said William to the baby as he touched its belly. “Don’t touch my baby, please” said the blond woman. “I’m gonna be out for a few hours. The door to the basement is down the left, just get it fixed, okay?” William nodded and let the nice lady and her breasts walk out the door to her car while he walked into her home. Closing the door, he sniffed the fresh stinky air. “Fucking!!!” he exclaimed as he smelled the aroma of Pine Air-Freshener. He hated Pine Air-Freshener. And so he slapped it off the fireplace and threw it among the logs. William had no idea what he was doing, even after all that training. And so he went upstairs and into the master bedroom. It looked messy, just like his own bedroom. He opened a drawer and saw a dildo, just like his own bedroom. William then opened the closet and saw a bright white suit, like the one Captain Blinding the White Supremist Superhero wore on that TV Show. Only this suit had zippers on the crotch and ass regions. William sure loved defecation simplification. And so he took off all his clothes and tried it on. It fit him nicely. Although it was missing a bit of his second-favourite colour. Brown. Suddenly, he remembered that he had a job to do, and that if he got fired from this one too, his mother would surely slap the shit right out of his rectum. And so he ventured down into the basement. It was flooded with water. Brown water. It smelled like watery shit. William Feely had seen a lot of wet shits in his life, but none as disgusting as a whole room filled with it. He had forgot to zip his ass-patch back up, and so when he stepped down into the murky brown liquid, some of the watery shit seeped up his asshole and all over the insides of his suit. “Aah!” he cried. “Poowater penetration!” William had no idea how to fix this mess. All he knew how to do was create the shit, not remove it. William was frustrated. He grabbed is toolbox and took out his pipe wrench, and started hitting the pipes and lavatorial equipment with it. “Fucking!!! Why can’t I fix shit!” he cried as he slammed the pipe wrench harder and harder onto the boilers and machines. His dents became bigger and suddenly, the boiler burst and he was scalded with hot water. “Fucking!!! Too hot for me!!!” he screamed as he fell down into the shit water. He gasped for air as he crawled back up the basement stairs. A bit of poo was stuck in his mouth. William Feely choked and broke out the door. He had had enough. Enough plumbing, enough poo, enough life. And so, he set back home.

William Feely and his shit covered hand rung his fancy doorbell to his parent’s mansion. A butler opened the door and behind him was his mother. “Oh you are getting the slapping of your life, young man!” she said aggressively. But William was more aggressive. “No. You’re the one getting the slapping!” he asserted as he took out his fists. And with a hard as fuck swing, William Feely punched Mother Feely right in her teeth, smashing many of them out. Mrs Feely struggled on the floor. “You fucking bastard… I’m gonna disown you!” William raged harder. “Now I’m RAGING!!!” he raged as he fisted his mother again, knocking her down to the ground. William fisted relentlessly, cracking her spine, her legs, her arms and her skull until she was nothing more than a fleshy sack of broken bones. James Feely gasped from the stairwell. “My god son, what have you done?” William Feely couldn’t control his rage. He leapt at his father and started to fist him as well, knocking him off the stair banister and onto a coffee table, breaking it. William punched his teeth in and then fisted his crotch. “This is for those sweaty bedroom times we spent together!” yelled William. “I thought you enjoyed those…” coughed his father. “I did” smiled William briefly before proceeding to break his anus. Once James Feely was a tangled mess, William moved on to his grandparents. His grandmother gave him socks for his birthday last year, which is good because he could fap in them, but his grandfather gave him a deluxe set of toy cars. William hated them because he couldn’t drive. And so he snapped his back first. His fisting became more aggressive, punching in entire holes at a time, with his fist easily bludgeoning them, if not going right through them. “Fking!!!” he screamed as he glowed a pale white aura. And then he moved on to the butlers and slaves, who never treated William with the respect he deserved. After he was covered in a crimson costume, he went to the laundry room and shouted. “Butler, wash my dirty clothes! Oh right. Fucking!!!” William took off his clothes and stuffed the costume in the toilet and flushed it, using the flushing water to clean it. Then Tommy’s cats Randy the Mandy and Simon came in. They started licking William’s dirty feet. “Ooh” exclaimed William. He liked that sensation. He took some of the blood and rubbed it on his crotch as he continuously flushed his new costume. The cats started to crawl up him to give him a pussy blowie. “Yes!” cried William Feely. “Flush me! Flush me…”


























2

ASIAN JUSTICE

William Joshua Feely fluttered through the pages of his brother’s yearbook. The year of 2016 was a tragic one. Both for Tommy and his lover, Mr Kennel who he inadvertently killed. Down in the Eastriver High School class of 2016, the colour photo of the late Tommy Feely sat loosely in the frame. The still boy surrounded by his killers. Will Chow, Mark Ming and Jackson Jackman. At least Tommy was able to kill Will posthumously. Mark and Jackson have since moved up a year level. Joshua Feely knew that he had to infiltrate the school and kill them both. Rage ran in their family, and after the loss of his dear brother, Joshua couldn’t control his ever since. The day he came back to see a rejective family, he raged so fucking hard that he clenched his fist and fisted each and every one of his family members to death, all except for the cats. Randy the Mandy, Simon and Gary. Unfortunately, Tommy’s ability to talk to Simon wasn’t shared by William. The cats just sat there licking each other in a cat-centipede like fashion. A knock from the door echoed the empty halls of the mansion. William grabbed Randy the Mandy by the leg and raised him up, ready to strike at any and all fat ladies that come in the night. Slowly turning the knob until the click, the door burst open with a smash and in stormed Mark Ming and Jackson Jackman, the leaders of the Semi-Asian League of Justice. With baseball bats in hand and aviators fitted over their eyes, they advanced towards William. “Yaaaaaaaaaa!” cried William as he madly swung Randy the Mandy at them. “Meow!!!” he screamed as he collided softly on each of their faces. William swung harder. And faster. “Meow! Meow! Meow! Meow! Went Randy the Mandy as his bones broke with each crushing swing until finally one of his claws scratched the surface of Jackson Jackman’s skin. Jackson’s common face of indifference was suddenly offset by the minor streak of crimson, and the blank but grim expression transformed into one of a controlled rage. When William swung his pussy back around at Jackson Jackman, he caught the limp and broken Randy the Mandy on his baseball bat wrapped with barbed wire. With a flesh shredding catch, Jackson began to turn William’s own cat against him, hurling the pile of amber and red back at his former master’s brother. Randy the dead Mandy landed squarely on William’s face, toppling him over. “Aah fking!” he cried as he fell to the floor. Mark and Jackson looked at each other and nodded. They knew what to do.

“Take this!” cried Barry as he slapped around his dead self with his meaty parts. “You like eating my fatties so much? Take them!” he continued as he shoved his huge man-breasts inside Old Corpse Barry’s face. Rachel was texting on her phone when suddenly a van pulled up outside of her house. She started downstairs to investigate. Looking out the window, it was the fucking plumber again. And from the look of things, this time he brought a friend. A rather short friend, standing at almost half the height of his companion. The two walked up to the door and rang the doorbell. Rachel sighed. She wasn’t in the mood for a fucking. And by a fucking, she meant spending the miniscule amount of energy to drive a drawer-full of utensils so far up their rectums, they’ll be spoon fed for the rest of their lives. She opened the door and asked them “did the price go up?” The duo snickered. “Yeah, baby. It’s double the charge. Consider yourself lucky we don’t make you pay for the van. And I’m afraid if you don’t pay up this time, we can’t fix your damn pipes.” The short one continued “And if we don’t fix your damn pipes, I’m afraid this house is gonna be in a state of inhabitability. And for that offense, we’ll have to notify them people up top to evict your lovely asshole. Rachel smiled as she slowly turned the palm of her hand back and upwards to face the chandelier hanging from the ceiling. “Fine” she replied. “Are you two ready for the fucking of a lifetime?” “I knew it!” shouted the average sized man to his partner. “Toldya she was a whore!” The two giddy men were about to have their lives turned inside out. Almost literally. The chandelier shook violently and off snapped the crystals and bulbs. Rachel stepped back, and thrust both her hands in the direction of the duo. Sharp and shiny crystals shot their way through the two, Filling the average sized one with holes and punching the dwarf so far back that he smashed right through the side of the van. Staggering back, the average sized man spoke raggedly “I forgot to mention… we’ve got powers too” before his wounds started to close up. All the flesh and tissue regenerated beneath the dirty grey uniform. Cal’s Plumbing was a corrupt fucking business, and if it has frigging superbeings in it, they were a real damn danger. Rachel realised this, and the fact that they might actually stand a chance against her. “Now before we force ourselves on you permanently, allow us to introduce ourselves” uttered the average sized man. The dwarf dropped back on the asphalt with a thud. He took his mallet out and Rachel knew they meant business. The average man continued “I am Mr Destructible and this small friend of mine is Allot Coins. Together, we are the C-” Mr Destructible’s introduction was cut short by a destructive punch to the face. Rachel had thrusted her fist right through his brain and out through the back of his head. “How’s that for a mindfuck?” she commented. “Fucking bitch!” cried the dwarf as he raised his mallet and swung it at Rachel. The modestly attractive widow force lifted the mallet right from his oversized hands and started to beat the shit out of him with it. Over and over she thrust the hammer down on his fat head. “I’m sorry, what the fuck was your power again?” asked Rachel. “My charisma…” cried the Dwarf as he got his head smashed in by the woman. I guess you could call that a splitting headache. Rachel was nearing her mid-thirties, this sort of fighting made her feel young again despite flashes of horrible puns appearing every now and then in her thoughts. She dumped the bodies in the back of the van they came in and gave it a strong force push down the road. And that was the end of Mr Destructible and Allot Coins.

The barbed wire of the baseball bats dug their way tightly into each of William’s mildly fleshy legs. “No! Please!” cried William as Mark and Jackson lifted their bats back up in unison, tearing off a hefty amount of skin in the process. This was damn painful for poor old Willy. And so he started to cry. “Waaaahhh!!!” he cried uncontrollably, but when he opened his teary eyes again, they glowed a bright white. And Mark and Jackson knew their time was up. William clutched his helm up from the splinters and put it back on his head. Now it was The Flush’s turn. “Now I’m raging!!!” he cried as Mark and Jackson started to turn and run. But it was Simon and Gary that caught the two, biting down hard on their ankles and sending them toppling to the ground. Their shades flew off across the concrete. “Thank you, my dear pussies!” shouted William as he grabbed the two by their hind legs and started to spin them in a circular motion in each hand. Mark gasped to get up but was quickly stuck down by Simon’s face. Jackson managed to roll to the side and grab his baseball bat, but William tossed Gary right at his face. “Oh fuck!” cried Jackson as he got the shit scratched off of his half Indian face. Mark Ming was pissed. He switched to his secondary weapon, his signature Kukri. The one he used to cut off Tommy’s leg last year. As soon as William saw this, his eyes were filled with rage. In full raging mode, he started to slap Simon at Mark’s face but his slapping was abruptly cut short with his beloved brother’s beloved cat kicking the shit off of his hand and leaping away. “Simon! Get back here!” yelled William at his runaway cat. Why do you have to be such a rebel?” Amidst the panic, Mark Ming landed a square chop with his Kukri with it cutting through the better half of William’s upper left arm. But this only made him rage even harder. A bloodcurdling scream literally pushed Mark and Jackson back. William unholstered his pipe wrench and panted through a devilish grin. The leaders of the Semi-Asian League of Justice knew this meant trouble.




















3

SHORT ABUSE

Rachel turned back around and walked through the open door. A loud thud shook the upstairs bedroom. “Barry must be getting rough with that corpse of his” she thought. She’d rather not disturb him while he’s having his happy time. Only this time there was more than one creepy voice coming from the room. “Yeah, get down just like that, kid!” crackled a sneering voice from upstairs. The voice of a dwarf. “Fuck” muttered Rachel as she hurried upstairs, grabbing one of the chandelier crystals from downstairs. She raised her leg to kick down the door but was abruptly reminded by the last time she had to pay for house repairs. Looking cool was not worth the price. And so she turned the knob like a normal person and rushed in. Clutching the glass shard hard, she scoured the room but saw nothing but a petrified Barry. The traumatized boy raised his finger towards the wardrobe. “Are you fucking kidding me?” Rachel asked her son. “I thought we were over the whole closet monster thing.” But Barry was dead scared. “No more hiding places” said Rachel as she kicked down the thin bleach colored meagre wooden excuse for a closet door. There was nothing there but a bunch of coats, onesies and leather stuff. Turning back to confront her child’s fears, Rachel waggled the glass crystal in front of him “If you cry wolf again, I’m gonna make you eat up the mess I made downstairs.” Now Barry started bawling, but it wasn’t at his mother’s threats. A gimp outfit started to levitate behind her slowly before leaping forward and latching onto her. “What the fuck?!” cried the mother as the arms covered her mouth. It was suffocating her. Rachel freed her hands and tried to force lift the attacking attire off her back. “Bitch let me fucking choke you!” yelled the outfit before Rachel swung it down to the ground and it revealed its true nature. The black leather of the suit morphed itself into the all too familiar uniform of grey. It was Allot Coins. “So that’s your power, huh?” said Rachel “The power to molest people in their bedrooms? Yeah. I don’t like that.” Allot Coins snickered. “You don’t know just how powerful I am! I can avoid death, see? By shifting into any nearby piece of clothing!” Rachel sighed “Been there” as she gestured for Barry to get up. He knew what to do. “You don’t even wanna know what I did to the other guy” smiled Rachel as Barry advanced towards the dwarf, with his eyes lit up in furious fire.

“Admit it, William!” yelled Jackson. “Your brother was a fucking cunt and you know it!” The Flusher screamed his high-pitched rage cry once again. “Fking!!!” cried the tall cunt as his echoes rolled back his foes. Suddenly, a Ponda Mimic pulled up outside William’s house. It was the new 2017 Model, and in the driver’s seat was Danny Despicable, the strategist of the Semi-Asian League of Justice. Beside him sat Steve Sexyman, the group troll. After a failed chemistry class experiment left him covered in green furs, Steve had always been the target of ridicule of the Semi-Asian League of Justice. It also made him tough as hell. “Get in!” yelled Danny Despicable at the retreating members. Steven had anger issues, and seeing William torment his friends just triggered the shit out of him. He unlocked the passenger door of the Ponda Mimic with his furry green hand and strode towards The Flusher. “Aw William!” he yelled. “Stop harassing my fucking team or else I’ll slap you!” William’s kukri injured arm had since healed entirely. The rage made him stronger than ever before. Thank goodness for Steve’s hairy green body or else the vocal wave surely would have unraveled him. Mark and Jackson scampered back to the car. “This is our chance!” said Jackson. “We need to take him down now!” Mark disagreed. “He’s too powerful. We’ll have to wait him out. Let Steve hold him off for us! Drive. He’s a dick anyway!” Jackson nodded “step on it, Danny.” Danny Despicable put his foot down on the pedal and backed out of the gold paved driveway. Back at the mansion, The Flusher was manically swinging his pipe wrench at Steve’s hair chest hair. “Yaaaa!” cried William as his wrench struck Steve in his shoulders and chest. Steve fell to the ground with a thud. Look this this was one battle the troll couldn’t win. “Aaahhh!” cried the two as William swung down the wrench repeatedly at an inhuman speed. Steve coughed up red troll blood over the contrasting grass as his spine got shattered by The Flusher’s brutal wrench force. The hairy green back couldn’t save his troll ass. No part of him was a match for the stone-cold steel Hamwreck brand heavy duty pipe wrench. The teeth sunk their way deep into the troll’s body. Steven Sexyman could no longer take such a brutal beating. The wrench hammered its way through his spine, then his heart then out his ribcage until all that was left was a gaping hole through the middle of Sexyman’s chest. “Not so sexy anymore? Are you, Troll Sexyman?!” taunted William before he burst into laughter. Turning his head back towards the road, he saw the Ponda Mimic drive out of sight and his laughter died. The rage came back, only this time the energy was driven into his legs. His long lanky fucking legs. A white aura started to emit from them as he took off in a dastardly dash. The Flush ran through the street, leaving a glowing white streak in his path. “I’m gonna get you!” he giggled at the escaping car.

“Fucking fatass bitch bastard, sweaty tit ass licking turd jerker, get the fuck off my fa-”. The dwarf cussed in futility as Barry sat on his face and started to slide a fat one out from between his cheeks. The wet shit smeared itself over the Dwarf’s face and through his teeth behind his sneering expression. “Get your retard shit-shoving buttock bloating brown leaker back in your train wreck pile up you call a womb before I take over your son’s condom collection and strangle him with it!” This seemed to affect Rachel about as much as her son’s sexual assault on a ‘grown’ man. “Shut up and let me concentrate” she responded as she made slight movements with her hand behind her back, moving the chandelier crystal slowly towards the dwarf. “Once I start drowning in your kid’s shit, I’ll just morph my way into his pretty undergarments and tighten his whities until they make your son thin again!” The dwarf’s bark was far more unbearable than his bit, but still nothing compared to what Barry was doing to him. ‘Gurgle gurgle’ he went as he started to drown in literal shit. And yet he smiled, know that he was going to get revenge. Rachel got a final word in before ending his miserable life. “Bitch please, I don’t know what’s more unrealistic: making my son thin or his shit ever leaving your sorry body!” And with a flick of her fingers, the glass crystal shot its way through the dwarf’s brain before it even got a chance to realise it was being hole-punched. The dwarf laid still on the ground, and Barry got up and pulled his pants up. Once again, it was still and silent. Rachel looked around for any movement, but she was sure the dwarf was dead. Sure enough, Allot Coins, the soul morphing dwarf seemed to be gone for good. The rare silence was soon cut off all too soon by a roaring engine outside, followed by the deafening clank of streetlamps being run over. Then an ear-splitting crash echoed outside, and the thunderous sounds make their way into Rachel’s fragile house. The Ponda Mimic drove its way straight through the door and into the kitchen, wrecking tables, chairs and various kitchen appliances before finally stopping after tearing through a load-bearing wall. Rachel and Barry hurried downstairs only to see their house gutted diagonally. In the Ponda were two blood covered teenagers. One was already dead, his face filled with splinters and forks. The driver was unconscious while the one in the backseat scrambled for his life. Furious, Rachel stormed downstairs “You fucking kids are gonna be paying for all this shit! Your licenses are fucking as good as revoked… if you even have them!” A bright white light suddenly shone from behind Rachel and Barry. A tall figure, donning a suit of white and brown was panting crazily with a bloody pipe wrench in hand. Raising his unoccupied hand and pointing to Rachel, Barry and the Car, he rasped “get ‘em.” And two felines came storming in from either side of him, and at all those unfortunate victims in the house.



















4

SUPER STREETFIGHT

“Scratch their faces off!” screamed the man in the white and brown suit. The glossy white and soft brown textures shone in the afternoon light. Splinters and forks were stuffed right through the face of Mark Ming. Blood oozed down over the dashboard from the twitching head. Danny Despicable in the driver’s seat was out cold. Blood dripped from his nose rapidly, while from the back of the Ponda Mimic crawled Jackson Jackman, clutching his ribcage and limping out. Cuts and bruises covered his face. Ming’s Kukri had been jabbed right through his upper left leg. Whether it hit an artery or not, blood gushed wildly from all three of them. The Semi-Asian League of Justice was going to need new members. Simon and Gary ran rapidly at Barry and Rachel. “Aww Kitty!” squealed Barry as he ran up to hug Simon. Barry loved kittens. Only Simon was an eight-year-old cat that has seen some shit in his life. Gary screeched towards Rachel, who force lifted him right before her face. “Cute” she uttered. “Is that all you got, white supremacist rejectee?” Rachel was undermining William and his cats of chaos. This made him angry. “Shut up, woman! And let my killer kitties destroy you and everyone you love!” Barry was tickling the living shit out of Simon before blowing raspberries onto the pussy’s pussy. “Noooo!” cried William “Stop molesting my cat! Now I’m raging!!!” William started to charge forward but was abruptly stopped by Jackson Jackman and his friend’s kukri that sliced open his lower left leg. “Yaaah!” cried the bony white boy and Jackman took a heavy swing at the back of The Flusher’s knees. The blade cut deep into his tendons as his knees buckled and gave way. Jackson was furious over the death of his friend. Picking up his wire wrapped bat, he delivered crushing blows to The Flusher’s backside. Blood spewed out of his mouth and all over Barry, who started lapping at it along with the cats. “What?” cried William “The box said you wouldn’t be vampire kitties! I feed you my milk every day! Why are you hungry now?” Jackson Jackman continued to slam his bat into William Feely’s backside repeatedly. ‘Whack, whack, whack’ went the bat as it started to break his spinal cord. The barbed wire tore at his shiny suit until it revealed his bare back. “Why?!” cried The Flusher as salty tears started to loosen from his eyes. “Why?!!!” The white glow emitted once again, and Jackson Jackman knew he was in trouble. He had to finish him. Fast. Using all his strength, he swung the bat at The Flusher’s head. And with an ear-splitting crack, the baseball bat snapped in half, but not without taking William’s right ear with it. “Rrrgh!” roared William as he clutched Jackson’s Kukri wielding arm and tore it right out of its socket.

“Okay this needs to stop” commented Rachel as she force-lifted Barry in preparation to bowl The Flusher down like a giant skinny bowling pin. With the arm still attached to the machete, William hacked away at Jackman, with each swing chopping off thirds of his head at a time, and soon entire limbs. “Slice and dice!” screamed The Flusher manically before he got the wind knocked out of him by some fat bastard a thirty-three-year-old white chick swung at him like a bowling ball. William may as well have been struck by a wrecking ball. That he was not used to. He was only used to riding them when he was young and naked. Barry’s immense weight shot The Flusher right across the street and right through the opposite house. “I don’t think he survived that” commented Rachel as she hurried over to check on her bloated whale of a son. Large chunks of debris and house materials littered the street. A blue Micha Dacian rolled up, stopping right before the wreckage to check if they need help. The Dacian was a shitty car from the 1990s, but it was damn fast. Out of it came a hot fucking guy, at least Rachel saw him that way. With wavy blond hair and a tight faded pale purple shirt, jean shorts and aviators, this crushing figure of a man said “hey” in the sexiest fucking voice. “You for real?” asked Rachel rhetorically. “You need help, ma’am?” smiled the sexy man. “Yeah” replied Rachel, reaching her hand out to touch him. “I need a little h-” Rachel’s poor seduction methods were quickly interrupted by Barry crushing Mr. Sexy Man from head to toe with his fat ass, leaving nothing but sexy-man-blood covering the gravel. Shocked, Rachel cried “Barry! What the fuck was that?! Why did you crush that man?!” An innocent looking Barry with pleading eyes looked over across the street and pointed at the tress parting to reveal a figure, glowing bright white all over. His eyes burn hot with white wet rage. Now Rachel was mad too. “You killed sexy man!” she cried as she force-lifted the blue Micha Dacian and hurled it at The Flusher. It knocked him down to the dirt, scraping him through the mess of the opposite house. Then it flew back. The wreck of a shitty blue car struck down Barry flat into the asphalt. Across the road, a pine tree was surrounded by a white aura before being thrusted at Rachel. She caught it with her telekinesis, but not the other one. Force-pushing the one she caught into the incoming tree’s direction, she pushed herself out of the way, and the recovering Barry was struck once again down to the ground. “You just hit my boy Barry twice! The last person to do that got eviscerated!” threatened a furious Rachel as she force-lifted all the loose pieces of gravel on the road. With both hands facing outwards and towards The Flusher, she used all her strength to fire the telekinetic shotgun at her son’s attacker.

Thousands of pieces of gravel flew lighting fast across the street, decorating all the houses with beautiful holes. And tens of thousands worth in property damage. Many of those pieces chewed straight through William’s bony body, ripping through his lungs, liver and kidneys. As oxygen and piss leaked out of him uncontrollably, Rachel moved in for the kill. But it was Simon and Gary that came to the rescue. The two snarling cats came screeching at Rachel. Turing around swiftly, she force-pushed Simon away but Gary latched onto her face good. The cat unleased bloody waves of scratches with its painfully sharp claws. “Fuck!” cried Rachel as she endured numerous slashings to her otherwise rather pleasant face. Suddenly, with a quick crack and a meow, the cat was gone. In front of Rachel stood Danny Despicable, holding a barbed baseball bat. “Holy fuck I could kiss you right now” panted Rachel. “No problem” replied Danny through his glasses. “I abuse cats for a living.” This, however was not as pleasant to William as it was to Rachel. “Noooo! Gary!!! You’ll pay for this!” he cried as he whipped out his pipe wrench. Simon ran to William’s side while Gary’s bloody body twitched beside a dumpster. Danny Despicable raised his bat once again while Rachel force lifted the Kukri from inside the house. “Eww” she commented as she removed the arm from it. Barry coughed and pushed the pine tree off from him. He growled menacingly at The Flusher. Danny, Rachel and Barry faced off against The Flusher and his remaining cat Simon. “You hurt my boy” scowled Rachel as she force-lifted Gary’s lifeless body into her left hand. Clutching the cat by the neck, she slowly gutted it with the Kukri. Cat guts and white stuff dribbled out of the eviscerated body before she dropped it dead to the ground. This crushed William to tears, but with him, immense grief was always followed by immense anger, and with immense anger came even worse raging. “Aaarrrggghhh!!!” screamed The Flusher at the top of his lungs while his muscles became noticeably more developed. His arms thickened and his biceps bulged. He had reached the zenith of his rage power, and had started to grow taller, much like the ability his younger brother had. Reaching a peak of around two and a half metres, William grew nearly as tall as the house beside him. He screamed and alongside his faithful companion Simon, ran at the trio.























5

FEELY’S FURY

Barry screamed and ran up against the two. The two and a half metre Flusher was at his full strength, even being able to lift the tremendously obese child. With one powerful underhand swing of the pipe wrench, William sent Barry flying down the block, all the way down to the park. Danny Despicable readied his baseball bat for Simon’s leaping scratch attach that Rachel was all too familiar with. Rachel herself held her Kukri tight in one hand while flinging cat intestines at The Flusher’s eyes before moving in swiftly for the kill. Danny swung his barbed bat wildly at the attacking feline. Simon leapt away from each swing before making it close enough to Danny’s legs. Simon scurried right up Danny’s shorts and started to claw away at his nether regions. “Ah fucking cat! Why couldn’t you be real pussy clawing for my junk?” With an extra hard swing, Danny Despicable brought the bat down perpendicular to his crotch. Simon leapt up through his shirt just before it hit him, crushing Danny Despicable’s balls extra hard. Looks like he won’t be extra hard anytime soon. Staggering to his knees, Danny watched as Simon made his way up to his face. The feline extended her claws to maximum laceration mode. This was gonna hurt. Just as Simon lifted his arm to scratch, Rachel force lifted him and threw him at The Flusher, who inadvertently struck him away with his pipe wrench. Simon flew so far down the street until he was out of sight. It took William a few seconds to realise what he had done. And when he did, he stopped dead in his tracks. “Wait… Simon? Nooooo!!!” William Feely instantly turned around and chased after his dear pussy using his super-speed. “Fucks the deal with that asshole?” asked Rachel. “That asshole calls himself The Flusher, and he wants revenge for us murdering that psycho brother of his, the tall one that destroyed Eastriver High School. And he killed my friends” said Danny. “Yeah. Tall guy, right? Around 100 metres. Yeah. He struck my son, and for that he’s going down” added Rachel, before the two sped off down the street.

Simon clutched the bar as hard as he could, but slipping was inevitable. His grasp loosened and he started to fall. The jungle gym was a dangerous place, as were the monkey bars. Simon landed with a soft thud on the bark beneath. In front of him was a modest playground, and in the middle of it was Barry. He scampered up the ladder to the slide and gripped tightly to the sides. Not particularly necessary as his fat sides squished up the slide so much he couldn’t even move down. Looking down the slide he saw his own fat stubby shoes. At least he could still see them. In a blinding white flash, the Flush arrived in front of him. Wielding the cat hitting pipe wrench of feline fear, William strode towards Barry, who whimpered. Looking down yet again, Barry saw a smooth flow of yellow go down the slide. Rachel was probably wrong when she said that there was nothing Barry’s fear could do that Barry couldn’t. The Flusher walked in for the kill but stopped just short of the slide. A puddle of pale yellow started to form at the base of the slide. “Eww gross!” cried William before Barry’s piss lubricated his sides and loosened his decent. Barry and his whopping kinetic energy shot down the slide and those stubby shoes of his struck William with a rib breaking crack. Simon, who was pissed at William for hitting him across an entire block of houses decided to go against his master. “No Simon, what are you doing?” pleaded William Feely as the cat growled in his advances towards The Flusher. Simon screeched as he leapt onto William’s face, tearing off that bitch mask of his. “No! Fking!” he screamed as Simon’s claws dug deep into his arguably unattractive face. Barry stood up from his slide of death and ran at William, punching him in the nuts with a pelvis breaking crunch. “Yaaaaa!” screamed William in pain. It was at this point that Danny Despicable and Rachel arrived, the latter of whom force-threw her Kukri at him. The machete dug itself deep into William’s side, puncturing his lung yet again. At this rate, The Flusher wasn’t going to heal fast enough. Danny Despicable ran up to The Flusher and worked away at his lanky legs, bringing him to the asphalt with a satisfying bash. And yet, The Flusher still grew. Now at a more than imposing three metres tall, The Flusher tore right out of his already stretched costume, leaving little to the imagination. His buttcheeks clenched as he felt the cold autumn wind on his gluteus maximus. “This is the real danger right here” commented Rachel, averting her eyes. “Getting fucking blinded.” But Danny was stronger. He kept hacking away at William’s legs, even as he stood back up to his full height. “Simon, give me strength!” shouted William as he grabbed the pussy by his legs and shoved him down his throat. “At least you can eat pussy” commented Rachel to herself. Danny stopped briefly, thinking if he really did hear what he just heard. This was enough time for The Flusher to grab him in one hand and throw him into the apartment behind him. “Ooh was that too despicable of me?” laughed William. “That was terrible” replied Rachel. “Thank you” grinned The Flusher. “I meant your joke”. This pissed William off even harder, but Rachel was prepared. She force-lifted the abundance of bark from the playground and launched them hard in The Flusher’s direction. The wooden shards tore through skin and flesh, with one even ripping straight through the left side of his mouth, leaving a maniacal style akin to an evil clown. “Hehehehe!” laughed The Flusher as he raised his (now disproportionately sized) pipe wrench.

“Get him, Barry!” ordered Rachel at her son. The fat ball of chocolate consumption ran like a bull at The Flusher’s legs. “Rrrrr!” cried the fat bull as he knocked the tall man down, then continuing to smash his fat fucking face into the face of a brick apartment building. Rachel pulled apart the playground equipment telekinetically down to individual poles and bars. She threw them like spears at the recovering Flusher, stabbing him through the stomach, arms and eyeball. “Aaarrrggghhh!!!” cried the whimpering giant as he fell completely down to the ground, but not without grabbing Barry first. He lifted the fat fuck by his stubby little leg and slammed him head first into the concrete repeatedly, knocking him out and possibly giving him a concussion. “No!” cried Rachel as she fired her last pole through William’s wrist. He cried out “fking!” before pulling out and throwing away and poles still stuck in his body. The white was blinding, and William burnt hot. Clutching his dear pipe wrench tightly, he advanced towards Rachel, who had run out of things to throw. She wasn’t going to outrun him. Not now. William and his gigantic hand swung down the wrench at Rachel. She swiftly dodged it. The Flusher lashed out at her once again. Rachel barely escaped, but ended up on the barkless playground base. “Fuck” uttered Rachel as The Flusher brought the wrench right down on her right leg, crushing it with a bone-breaking crack. “Aarrgghh!” she screamed in agony as The Flusher raised his wrench once again. Suddenly with a (literally) ear splitting bang, William’s head exploded in a gooey red mess. His gross oversized eye was launched across the playground and his ears were left split and dangling by what little skin they were attached to. As he fell to the ground, Rachel saw Danny Despicable wielding a double-barreled shotgun. “That’ll do it” she commented as Danny jogged up to help her. “Thanks for that” she said. Danny replied, “No problem, miss” as he leaned in for the kiss. “Woah, what?’ asserted Rachel as she backed back onto the ground. “This… ain’t happening” she stated as a disappointed Danny backed away. His disappointment was soon forgotten as he saw Will Chow drive up the road towards him. The dead teenager that sacrificed himself to kill William’s brother Tommy. “I see I missed the party” he said as he opened the door of his modestly priced sedan. “You guys need a ride to the hospital?” Rachel limped forward. “Oh yeah. Fucking lifesaver.” She propped her legs into the sedan and Danny sat beside her. “Can I have your number at least?” Rachel reluctantly agreed as they drove off.

















6

JUSTICE REFORM

“Get ready!” shouted the captain to his crew. A bunch of fly ridden, dark-skinned Africans. Their skiff stank of banana peels and bullet casings. “I see the ship up ahead!” he announced in a thick African accent. Asad the Pirate was not pleased with what he had to do as part of the crew. As their skiff approached the English tourist vessel, flashes of Asad’s homeland came back to him: his lovely woman and daughter back in Somalia, his stashes of stolen arms and ammunition and his dear friend Mr. Rat, who what a rat that came to visit his pants occasionally in the daytime. “Man do I miss the biting of Mr. Rat on my legs in the summer heat” he whispered into the wind as he put on his bandanna, as did the rest of his mates. The captain continued his speech in front of him. “Now we will take this vessel, and hold the women and children hostage for their worthless government’s money! We will be rich men once more! And I, captain Salim Salimson, will lead you to your riches!” The captain raised his Russian imported assault rifle in the air in a show of strength before turning it towards the British vessel, The Tea’s Bosom. The crew all raised their rifles in unison before the skiff sped up towards the oblivious vessel. The captain drove close to The Tea’s Bosom and raised a rusty ladder to its side, latching it on. “Go!!!” he yelled as he led the pirate force onto the boat. Men and women ran away frantically, screaming for their dear lives. The captain of The Tea’s Bosom quickly noticed the situation and unlocked his lockbox holding a handgun. But a handgun was no match for the awesome power of a Russian assault rifle. “This is my ship now!” shouted Captain Salim Salimson as he shot up the glass of the captain’s cabin. He saw the British Captain prime his gun and immediately fired at up. With a loud and scattered twenty round spray, the British captain laid very still indeed; with three holes gushing blood out all over his lovely cabin. The rest of the pirates climbed on board. The last to climb up the ladder, Asad the Pirate witnessed more terror and intimidation, the very same he experienced as a child. Asad the Pirate could take it no longer. He had planned this moment in his fantasies for decades. Putting his dark African finger on the black trigger, Asad raised his Russian rifle at his brothers. They did not even see it coming. DU-DU-DU-DU-DU went the assault rifle endlessly as it tore through the pirates’ flesh and bones, giving the wooden flooring a new, brighter paint job.

Rachel looked down unpleasantly at her cast. The doctors said she couldn’t take it off for another two weeks, but Rachel knew it would have healed by the time she got back home. The hospital room was a grim place, and seeing it again was never something she looked forward too. They should give her a frequent customer discount. All she needed the hospital for was for her leg to get set and so she could be on her way. “Good news, Rachel. Looks like your son is okay!” announced the doctor at the door. He was dark skinned and had glasses, with a native accent that had long been sanded down it its bare bones. He spoke lightly, and with a noticeable American influence in his accent. Beside him stood Barry, with a large bandage wrapped around his thick skull, covering the better part of his face. “You ought to be thankful your son is… shapely, else a concussion like that would surely have long term side effects. Barry mumbled under his bandages. “Thank you, doctor” replied Rachel with a slight seductive smile. “I can take it from here.” The doctor nodded and gave a thumbs up. “Cool, press the call button if you need help. I’ll leave you two at it then.” Rachel continued with that suggestive grin until he left the room, then she looked back down at Barry. “You lose weight, Barry Bear?” asked Rachel, observing a noticeably thinner son of hers. “No” rasped Barry. “But you will when I toss out that window!” More annoyed than surprised, Rachel lifted ‘Barry’ up and tore the bandages off. He may have been badly scarred, and there was some weird growth on his temple, but without a doubt, this was Allot Coins. “I’ve been sneaking surgical tools this whole time here” said Rachel confidently as she twirled her hand and a dozen scalpels levitated around the dwarf. Allot Coins, seemingly without concern for his own life took a hard swing at Rachel, striking her hard in the chest then across her face. “Fuck!” cried Rachel as she force-pushed the dwarf to the other side of the room and thrusted all twelve scalpels into his body within the blink of an eye. “Shit…” she cussed to herself as she got herself up from the hospital bed and limped towards the dwarf. “Where’s my son? Where the fuck is the fat ball of shit you stole?!” she yelled as she started to shake the body violently. She shook it so hard that the head snapped loose of the body. And with a simple crack, she had broken a dwarf’s head. The doctor, having heard the commotion barged into the room to see Rachel violently abusing her ‘son’s’ face to the point of horrifically wrong and grotesque. The African-American doctor staggered and started to gag before calling security.


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