Excerpt for Ken's Guide To The Galaxy - More Probing by , available in its entirety at Smashwords

Ken’s Guide To The Galaxy – More Probing

by Ken Squires

Copyright 2018 Ken Squires Publishing

Smashwords Edition

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Since my first transmission sent back to my home planet, giving a guide to this galaxy I have learned a few more things.

These humans as they're called are interesting people and it's intriguing how they all react differently to situations. They all tend to show this thing called emotion towards other fellow human beings in which will be a wide range of different emotions from anger to this thing called love. I haven't grasped the concept of what they call love or even the concept of affection. What can I say I guess I haven't found anyone who have felt the same about me as I have about them.

Am I missing out on this planet because I haven't found that person who feels the same ?

Or is it merely a minor difference in existence

From what I also have learned is that people lie about this emotion to try and gain things from it. I haven't exactly learned what they would gain but I'm sure probing even further into the concept is something that I may have to look into.

So let me be on my way to explore even further and more in depth as I continue the rest of this book.


So I've been sitting back watching these humans go about things in there daily life, I must say it's rather facinating to do so. The one thing I'm most intrigued by is this thing called "emotion", it tends to rule them and how they respond to one another.

The range of emotions that they have is rather wide and yet at times humans will straight up lie to another humans face just to try and gain things from it. It's a fascinating thing that they do, at times it works rather quickly but at other times it's not as quick or it just fails miserably.

I also find it interesting that they keep things called secrets from one another, perhaps it's a way to keep the other one guessing since they refuse to show there true selves to one another, maybe it's a fear thing as they go about things in life which make them feel that they have to keep things hidden or that they need to play a role for one reason or another.

It does make me understand why ones hide from others and don't talk as much, the like / dislike for each other seems to be very interesting as anything can change ones mind about certain aspects of a human from what I have learned.

They try to gain praise from each other, at times by buying gifts for one another to patch over mistakes or errors they may have caused in hopes of it helping the current situation, or hopefully landing the other one in bed the idea behind getting another one a gift definitely does have a wide ranger of reasoning's behind it.

While I sit and watch them I feel like, to express it in there terms "watching animals at a zoo" as I can watch but not touch or interfere, so that's what I do. I watch, I try to learn why they act the way they do at times it's obvious other times it is not. But yet I still watch, it's almost like one of these television shows or a movie that's so bad to watch at times you don't want to watch anymore but yet your so drawn into it you want to know what's going to happen next which keeps me watching and wondering what's going to happen next.

It's also similar to these nature shows where you watch quietly and hopes that you don't spook what's going on.

Time to go back to observing.

Another one of these traditions these humans have that I don't quite understand is what they call Christmas, they seem to celebrate the birth of the one who they call "saviour" by passing out gifts. Some people make lists for this such event of certain gifts they would like and it's your choice if you want to buy something off the list or go on your own ideas.

Since being here I've seen these gifts bring out a wide range of "emotions" from people, from sad to what they consider happy even though both of those emotions they have wet beads (known to them as tears) that stream down there faces. It's a very interesting concept and at times it's hard to tell one emotion from the other.

They also gather with other members of there "tribe" however they aren't called tribes they call them "family" some they have seen constantly since the last Christmas others they haven't. To do an exchange of gifts, when they do this these gifts are wrapped up or covered in some way in order to hide what these gifts are. Some choose to include friends who aren't apart of ones tribe or "family" in these traditions. Others do not.

After these gifts are opened they all shuffle to the food quarters in which a feast begins to get started and depending on what they do for the feast it may take several hours in order to get it ready. It's a fascinating ritual they have and to watch, the littlest thing can set off these humans from one another if you so much make one little mistake.

After that is finished and they devour the feast which at times it makes it look like it maybe the last feast they are going to have they sit or lay down like what appears to be walrus's in front of a television set until they all fall asleep.

That appears to conclude this yearly ritual they know as Christmas.

While on this planet I've noticed that on the last day of the year they call it "new years eve" which they tend to celebrate with these big parties as the count down until the stroke of midnight to ring in the new year. It's an interesting concept to say the lease.

I keep calling my tribe from my home planet to show up, wouldn't it surprise many if when the clock hits zero a huge spaceship (what you folks call a UFO) show up, it would be like a scene from the earth movie Independence Day when the ships finally come into Earth's atmosphere. I think if that happened many of the humans would have wished they wore diapers on that day since I see them filling there pants.

I've sat back and watched people act like idiots, rushing into stores to pick up the last item for these parties like everything has to be perfect for each of these parties cause we may not get another one which once again is another reason why I keep calling my tribe to come and visit, they deserve to observe you too.

Speaking of my tribe for those who are wondering I've had a difficult time getting a signal out to them in order for them to come visit, I know they have email however I haven't been able to figure out how to decipher English into my language at this present time and they don't make keyboards that type in it so I would have to some how figure it out for myself and at this present time I have had no luck in doing just that, but I will continue to try.

So I survived the countdown and the bright lights and the various festivities that this planet does in order to count down the ending of last year and to celebrate the new year, as I've said before it's an interesting ritual that gets done.. With all the commotion that happens I was always waiting for someone to sacrifice like a goat or a virgin, but perhaps I don't quite understand this sort of thing as well as I did.

I also learned that with all the bright lights and festivities at times people can see me in my non saggy form ... for those who are wondering my saggy form is in my human exoskeleton. It was a close call but I was able to hold off just long enough so that I was able to get to a safe location so that I don't think I was noticed.

All is so far good for the time being, back to living on this planet, or trying to.


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